Wedding rings?

[ForCosyMember]

My daughter is due to get married and is looking for wedding rings. She recently told me the one she liked was around £700. Not sure if this average or expensive tbh. Told her to look round, not rush in and look at 2nd hand ones as she may get abetter ring for less money. She then mentioned- oh can I have some nans jewellery to melt down- my mum passed away few yrs ago and loved gold and as an only child I have all of what was her jewellery. Was surprised with this question from her and didn't knowhow to answer. Later that day while in her car her HTB rang and asked her if she had mentioned this gold issue to me. Is this wrong but I feel so upset that they have discussed it beforehand. The jewellery has lots of memories for me as me and her were really close and there was no dad. TBH I don't know if the request is a sentimental one or tgagthey want just to save money. Perhaps if she had said is there an odd earing that u have which I could add to a ring but she just wants me to give her quite a bit to make a full ring. It feels wrong?

It’s a reasonable request and if you don’t want her to have it then just say no , I really can’t see the issue . Personally I’m not remotely sentimental about jewellery and can’t wear any myself due to allergies and skin issues so if my kids wanted my wedding ring / engagement ring for something I’d be happy to let them crack on and yes I’m still happily married and neither of us wear rings .Infact it would be a nice idea to melt both our wedding rings down and turn them into something that would be used .

Not for it to be melted down

Why is it better for it to just sit in a box not doing anything , most of my grandmothers jewellery was extremely old fashioned and neither myself or my daughter would be wearing any of it , much better to repurpose it .

Mostly becsue OP wants to keep it so why should her DD take it to melt down

Before you do any thing go to a jeweler and have it evaluated for what it would be worth right now. Gold is at a very high price now and charm bracelets are hefty and can be worth quite a bit of money. Then work from there. If you still want to wear or then keep it until you’re ready to let it go. It’s yours and up to you as to when you’re ready to hand it down.Good luck,.

And it sounds like the fiancée has an eye
out for your gold which is none of his business. If he can’t afford a wedding ring for her, I’d tell her to move on. Old gold is worth a lot of money now bc it’s has a better gold content then the garbage we have now. Keep it and leave it for her to inherit bc he then can’t touch it.

And you can still get a 14k gold ring for about 400. It just won’t be heavy

I would feel out of sorts about this too, because of the way you say they asked, like it's just a bit of gold, when for you it has a history and personal meaning. I would say No and keep it safe.

I wouldn't have any hesitation in telling them absolutely no way and that I was shocked they would ask.

OP, what kind of man is this?Cintacting his FW's mother to see of she asked about the gold is ringing all kinds of alarm bells for me. Does he not trust his fiancee to have asked? Does she not believe what she told him about your response? Is she being pressured to ask you about the gold, and he's checking to make sure she did it?

I hope my instincts are off here, but this feels like a red flag.

The cost of melting it would be greater than buying a gold band. It is her fiancé’s job to provide the wedding and engagement rings. I wear my husband’s grandmother’s engagement ring because she left it to him for that purpose. I met her once before she died. He bought the wedding band. My son will get my grandmother me engagement ring (if he wants it).

9ct is fine for a wedding ring.

I don’t do any gold under 14k bc it’s worth even less. I’ll stick with the 14k, it’s a brighter and shinier yellow. 9ct tends to turn blackish gold

I inherited my Grandma's rings. I have worn one everyday for about 30yrs. The others are in a drawer - nice, victorian floral rings but not fashionable. I would be happy for my daughter to keep them/wear them but not melt them down. I would also be cross if her partner was asking about getting them melted down too. I would say a clear 'no'. My engagement ring was second hand (vintage!), my wedding ring inexpensive - they can do the same. Sounds grabby to me.