I need advice.
I’ve been with my partner for 12 years. We don’t live together and live 50 miles apart. We both have children and stayed living separately so our kids stayed in their home/school/friendship circles by the time we were serious we decided not to uproot the kids but we would see each other at weekends. We all have been on holiday together many times and this set up worked for us. My 2 are now older, still living with me but I don’t see them much as they have flourished and I love watching them grow. His youngest is doing well too. His oldest got pregnant and has just given birth. She lived with him but spent most of her at her boyfriends house, the bf is jobless, has no interest in getting a job, his family are all jobless and tbh we really cannot see what she see’s in him. They’re still together but her bf is useless, he’s not provided anything for his child. she’s having to live at her dads with the baby. My bf is an amazing dad, of course he’s allowed her to continue living with him with the baby. But everything has changed so much. The daughter never came out of her room unless it was to get food or go to the bathroom, she was a typical moody teenager and the moods continued into her 20’s.Now she and the baby are everywhere. Our Saturday nights have changed our Sunday morning lie ins have changed, everything has changed. We talked about having a child of our own years ago but decided against it and looked forward to the children flying the nest so we could do our thing. And now we’re anchored all over again. His daughter I think realises she’s made a mistake in having a baby with this boy that’s she still in a relationship with but she’s not making any plans apart from continuing to stay with her Dad. I’m trying so hard to be positive, but I really don’t want a small baby so intertwined in my life. I know I sound like a cow and my partner is stuck between helping his daughter and building a life with me. I’ve battled with what happens if one of mine end up with a baby, I’d be the same, but the fact is neither of mine have had a baby and if they do, they won’t be living with me.
every has changed so much I can’t be excited or happy for the baby’s arrival.
an I being a cow? I know I am, I don’t want to be, I want to embrace the baby but this situation has made life really hard. Also she can’t stay at her boyfriends house as there no room for her and the baby and my partner won’t let her bf in his house because he doesn’t trust him not to rob him. So she doesn’t have anywhere to go even if she wanted to give us some alone time. Lastly her mum my partners ex is in the picture, but they don’t get on and the mum made it very clear there’s no room for her at her house as she has converted her room to a walk in wardrobe. I do feel for his daughter, but I’ve been through a lot too and was really looking forward our life which was only probably a year from our time.