Relocating with my adult daughter

[JillyC8]

My 21 year old daughter still lives at home and is currently single. We’re very close as I’ve been a single parent since she and her brother were very young. I am 61 and have no real desire for a relationship, having been divorced twice, but I realise that my life was fulfilled just being a mum to her and her brother and I struggle, as all parents do, with the thought of not being close to my children when they leave.
Her brother now lives in a city near his father and my daughter has expressed a desire to move. We currently live in a quiet coastal town, which is lovely but not much opportunity or social scene for younger people.
She wants us both to sell up and go together and I’m quite excited at the prospect of a new start/adventure but feel increasingly worried that I should be encouraging her to go it alone, which I know she wouldn’t do as she’s very homely and also due to other factors such as money.
I have few friends as I’ve always been quite an introvert, socially awkward, and the thought of being here without any family terrifies and depresses me. The area she wants to go is nearer to my siblings and I’m familiar with the area. Also it would be a chance to downsize and clear my mortgage.
Any advice or similar experiences?

You have a chance to move closer to siblings in an area you are familiar with and have no mortgage? Do it!

Your DD is only 21 and plenty of time for her to 'go it alone' and it sounds like this would be a lovely move for you both with more going on and more opportunities for her.

If it were me I would be packing my bags.

I think it sounds like a good idea. If your concern is that you are sort of holding her back by facilitating this, then I don’t think you should be worried.

The pros are
it makes financial sense
you would be moving somewhere you know
you would be closer to your extended family
there would be more to do, for both of you
your daughter wants to

the cons are
your daughter won’t be leaving home, which she doesn’t want to anyway and you don’t want her to either

Is this something you would be doing even if your DD wasn't living with you?
How would you feel if eg she met the love of her life and decided to move away, leaving you in your own in a new location (unlikely, but a good way to think how you really feel)?
Will she/you be able to get jobs in your new location?

Thank you! I have been feeling guilty lately as I went through a horrible time with menopause/depression a couple of years ago and she was my rock. She has become a friend as well as a daughter, which I’m happy about, but at the same time don't want to hold her back. Your response has made me feel better.

I probably wouldn’t on my own but only because I would find it too much of a nightmare to move alone; I’ve wanted to move closer to where I’m from over the years but life has got in the way so this would be a good opportunity.
She will meet someone and go her own way soon enough I’m sure, but my thoughts are that will happen anyway, wherever I live.

Jobs would be easier as we would be moving to a city rather than a quiet town where we currently live.

It sounds a really good idea. Go for it!

It sounds ideal. You both want to move. Go for it. X

Sounds like a great adventure - go for it!