Daughters out of work fiancé living with us

[Ned69]

I am finding having my 27 year old daughter living back at home after being in London for 5 years impossible. She has recently come home and moved her fisnce in with her as they can’t rent their own place as he can’t get a job. He doesn’t drive and left his precious role because of his boss bullying him. It’s been 6 months of him not working and hanging about in her room whilst we all go to work. It’s causing great stress between my husband and I.

i have tried to help him get a job but nothing comes of any of it. How on earth do you talk to someone you hardly know about your frustration? My daughter says he will sort himself out eventually but my god it’s driving me mad.

I’m the same age as your daughter and her maturity and/or self esteem must be very low if this is what she wants for herself. How can she be happy knowing her partner just sits in her childhood bedroom every day and doesn’t interact with her parents or help out? How can she be smitten with that? Her saying you don’t understand him and what he’s been through and his parents didn’t help him etc. smacks of something a 15/16 year old says about their ‘first love’. He’s an adult, if he needs guidance he can ask for it, not sit in a bedroom all day.

But why are you and DH also being so passive? Tell him to leave.