Son living at home doesn't want to move out or pay more

[Mummysboi1]

My brother lives with my mother he's 54 a Lab technician on decent money but says he doesn't get paid much/lies.my mother has to pay full rent and council tax from pension that comes to around £700 a month she wasn't paying any before my brother moved in and was on pension credit.he pays her £360 a month all in food she washes his clothes,internet included that my mother doesn't know how to use.and he doesn't want to pay her more as he says it isn't good value for money.his job was previously advertised as £40k a year.im getting involved as my mother isn't strong enought to ask him to leave.he has a girlfriend that pays for all his holidays around 9 a year.gives him cash towards a new car etc.what do people think we should do in this situation thanks for reading

He sounds like an absolute loser and sponging off of women around him.

If it’s not good value he can go find good value elsewhere and be someone else’s problem. This is almost elder abuse.

His girlfriend pays for 9 holidays a year for him? Really? How do they get the time to take them?

He seems to get time off work all the time,he's a gigolo in my eyes he's just using this women for what she can provide.

A lovely friend of mine had this problem, son in his forties never left home, paid £60 a week all in, when I asked, was told - he just won’t leave - situation resolved when he took up with widow next door but one, moved in with her, not only didn’t move far but did all the diy, decorting, garden, everything he didn’t do for his parents.

This describes a motivation to move which brother will find when his mother gives him notice.
Just at the moment he has no motivation - he is looked after with no responsibilities for next to nothing ‘at home’ where he is exploiting his mother, and ‘looked after’ to have his manly need met with his girlfriend, who he will propose to the day after his mother gives him two week’s notice to leave.

After that, wifi cancelled, clothes and belongings packed and locks changed.

This is not a problem, this is an untenable situation easily resolved.

Does your Mum want him to move out?

Or pay more?

Well you see he doesn't love this women he's even told me that.and they sleep in different rooms,just using her,and he's not wanting to move in with her because he can't do the pretence 24/7.i believe but don't know for sure,he tells he he has to come home everyday to look after my mother which isn't true,he comes home stays at my mothers 3 nights a weeks and the rest at his so called girlfriends,the nights in the week he comes home does his own thing in his vedroom until around 6 to 7 then goes to hers for tea and stays the night.he says he only stays at home 3 nights a week so doesn't want to pay anymore.but all of his belongings are there 7 days a week

Ideally move out really but she's willing to let him stay if he'll pay £400 a month but she's aaked him for that since last August. I keep asking my mother to let me step in and ask him to move out.but she thinks/knows if he moves out she'll never see him again . he's even emotionally blackmailed her and said as much

Can’t he move in with the girlfriend?

She's asked him to.but i can only think he's said he can't because he's looking after my mother,which isn't true she cooks his tea for him.and shouts him down for it.he drives past his girlfriends to come home she lives around a mile from his work place and home is 7miles further away.im getting very annoyed with this.im out of work through ill health live in my own flat and pay £390 a month in rent alone substantially more than him and i i have to cut my mothers grass as he won't.

Your brother is a peach.
Your Mum only wants a modest increase and he's refusing?
Your Mum needs to be a bit more assertive. Either he coughs up another £40 or she cancels the internet/stops doing his washing. She has leverage.
He doesn't actually want to leave.

No and i have asked him to move out on her behalf because he'll take the piss until she's dead he moved in temporarily 11 years ago because he split up with his then girlfriend.and now lives like lord finkleroy it pisses me off and if he doesn't move out soon I'll lose my shit.im struggling out of work through illness want to work but can't struggle from month to month and this peach lives better than harry and william

It isn't a good relationship as it stands. He isn't loving son, he is exploiting her, blackmailing her and making her life a misery.

I would suggest that she allows you to write him a letter, signed by her, witnessed by you, saying that as he has not agreed to covering his fair share of household expenses she is evicting him with two weeks notice.

He is a lodger, he has no rights at all wrt accommodation in her house.

After that, put his stuff in bin bags outside and change the locks, and immediately go back to claiming single person Council Tax discount.

So she only wants him to pay another £40 per month, making a total monthly amount of £400 even though she is paying out £700 in rent and council tax which she wouldn't need to pay if he moved out and she got Pension Credit?

Your brother sounds awful btw, threatening to never see her again if he has to move out. She should ask him to leave with your help.

Exactly that yes and good news i asked him to move out on my mums behalf and he's now moving in with his girlfriend and more than likely that'll be even cheaper for him as she has her own home lots of money in the bank accountant etc,but when he lives with her full time his true colours will show and it won't last.but he won't be moving back in with my mother I'll make sure of it