Not sure how to handle this?

[Bulldog01]

Our daughter & partner moved in with my husband & I one month ago,for economic reasons.They brought there Cat with them,which we are fond of.We have looked after him often while they go on holidays.My Daughter does not seem to like it if I,1.give the cat treats,2.Brush his fur,3.buy him toys.He is on a Biscuit diet.I ask if I can give him a treat, once in a while! Around 2 weeks ago,my daughters partner asked if I had the brush,I said yes but I only had the brush as my daughter left it with me when she moved in! I have never brushed him since.This may seem trival,but I am so upset! What are your thoughts?

Ok - so have you talked to your daughter about this? Couldn’t quite understand why you would be upset about asking about the brush but I assume I’m lacking context there

Just that my husband & I love animals,we are retired.We thought that we could share the work of looking after the cat while our Daughter & partner work from home during the day.We have looked after the cat,while Daughter & partner go on holidays etc.We have bonded with the Cat,we respect that the Cat is not ours.But feel uncomfortable about not being able to share the care of a animal that lives in our home! Hope I am making sense?

@Bulldog01 I would just talk about it directly. I think you’re well within your right to look after the cat in its entirety if they also expect you to pet sit, there’s nothing wrong with it.

My DP is amazing with dogs and my SIL also used to get weird about how her dog was so attached to him, but to be honest he dotes on dogs. It is what it is.

Aw OP, I think it’s very kind that you’re happy and keen to help with the cat. Most people can’t be bothered, so it’s nice that you are.

It’s also nice that you let them move in to help them financially. You sound like a lovely mum.

Definitely think your daughter is being unreasonable if she’s fine for you to look after the cat when it suits her then behaves differently at other times.

Definitrly bring it up with her and find out why she’s being so arsey about it. She can’t be that precious over the animal’s care if she’s ok with you doing it when she’s off having a nice time elsewhere.

I'd take a step back. Let her feed and groom her cat and just settle for petting it if it's there. I think she probably doesn't want you taking over. She wants to be the one to do special things because it's her cat.

So you've been generous enough to let them move in to save money, and you're not allowed to interact with their pet?

They literally cannot afford to be possessive about their cat, it seems. If you are secretly feeding the cat things that are not part of the diet they've chosen for him, they have a point. But the toys and brushing him? That's silly.

Does she work? Appalling if she prefers dcat is ignored when she isn't home.