Help- Our 3 Kids hate each other

[Good2Goooooo]

We are utterly at a loose not to mention distraught that our 3 kids do not like each other anymore.
Our 24yr old son has always been difficult & quite introvert & over lockdown
(Which was his Uni years )had quite a few mental crises and caused an awful lot of upset with his sisters & us.
His sisters are 20 & 22 and are very opposite to him , confident, outgoing, close with each other .
They don’t want anything to do with him , they don’t want to even try . They have so much anger & hate towards him, a lot of the anger is justified and he acknowledges his past mistakes but alot is personality differences too.
I find it so hard as I have a great relationship with my siblings as does my husband and his .
The thoughts of any future where we can’t be together as a family is heart breaking.
Any advice would be greatly welcomed.

I may not be able to help but I can empathise. I have two adult children who barely tolerate eachother and having such different personalities, have nothing in common.

Dd is outgoing, fun, with loads of friends.. ds introverted, no friends only his girlfriend.

At least your girls have eachother. You never know, your ds might partner up with someone they like and things will be easier. Never let him feel like he's being compared though.

Give it time and don't force it. Acknowledge the hurt and anger but don't stoke it.

We are more than 20 years older than your 3 and the damage done by lockdown and to everyone by my brother's enthusiasm for conspiracy theories was immense. My sister always had the better relationship with him but even she got to the point where she didn't want to talk to him.

Things have gradually healed, and we all managed to be together for a grand family gathering last year. That was disrupted by a big crisis but even with that going on there was no issue between us siblings.

Being older we all have our own lives; yours are just beginning to come to that stage. Let them find out who they are and don't make a big fuss about this. My parents just kept up dialogue with each of us and occasionally mentioned to all the others what was going on with the ones who weren't talking.

They probably won't all have super-amazing relationships with each other; plenty of people don't get on with their siblings, or are just not that close, but don't let it be a massive thing for you or for them.

Much sympathy op. 3 of my dc have gone their own way. Not even a birthday /Christmas text. Not to me /dh or each other...
Box it up and move on is possible...less painful than dwelling..

How justified is their anger? What is he doing to correct it?

My brother and I don’t speak. I feel bad for my mum but to be honest a lot of it is on her for raising a manchild.

If your DD’s are close he probably feels left out. They have effectively colluded against him. There doesn’t seem to be much sympathy for his mental health issues. I think I would try and speak more kindly about his issues and reiterate his positive traits. Plus emphasise to the other two that they’re being unkind. Threesomes can lead to one being scapegoated ime.

It's just how it is. Being related to someone is no guarantee that you'll actually like them. They're adults, so they can all choose who to spend their time with. Please don't force them into some fake Happy Families nonsense - just let them make their own choices.

Thank you for all your replies.
I do as a parent realise that they are all individuals with different personalities and as mentioned I do hope with time they will mature and hopefully see each other in a different light and understand each other better. Thank you

You want your DDs to disregard their feelings about how your DS behaves/behaved, is that right?