Jelousy

[Natasha90]

Anyone have any thoughts and suggestions on what to do with my SD jealousy.

She's 16 YR old will be leaving school in June.

I have been in her life since she was 2 years old and have full custody of her.

I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant and IVF baby.

Now myself and her husband have spoilt her which I know is our fault.

We have included her as much as we can, taken her for a private scan to find out the gender, names, items. Constantly reasserted her that I will not love her any less etc.

It all come to ahead last night when my family (who have taken her on as there own) was talking about the baby and she was starting to roll her eyes pull faces and said she is jealous and does not want the baby!

Now she has to be centre of attention in everything.
she struggles to keep friends because of this.

Obviously my family are Ecstatic for us after 8 long years of IVF. I don't feel they should not talk about the baby??

She’s probably very insecure and lashing out. It’s quite normal to a child to have those feelings when both their parents are their birth ones so she made be scared that she won’t matter as much.

Now she has to be centre of attention in everything.
she struggles to keep friends because of this

That might be the route of the problem then. Plus, if she's in Y11 she's probably got mocks coming in a week or so? How is she coping at school and what are her plans afterwards?

@TinyMouseTheatre
Thank you for your response, yes she will take her mocks end of Jan.

Currently we have applied for an apprenticeship, we have a college meeting on the 10th January. We are actively discussing next steps all the time.

Last night however all of her friends was at a party she was not invited. So she was sitting there looking sorry for herself and wanted sympathy. Problem is everyone is wise to her now.

I think that’s a fairly normal reaction on a lot of teens - I was a single parent and started dating again when DD was grown, I thought she couldn’t care less but she kept asking if I was going to have more children. I went to a medical appointment with DP earlier this year and she kept thinking we were announcing a pregnancy (there’s no plans for that at all).

You can’t reassure her anymore than what you are right now, would counselling be an option? It could be everything compounded - having a sibling, exams, friendships, etc.

Last night however all of her friends was at a party she was not invited. So she was sitting there looking sorry for herself and wanted sympathy. Problem is everyone is wise to her now.

Of course she wanted sympathy! She must have been so upset and embarrassed. And she'll have to go back to school next week and face them

@Nanny0gg - that may have come across as wicked. However it's every event she's never invited purely because she won't be centre of attention

Remind her she is 16 not bloody 6...