Young adult children

[Andrewinhis50]

So how should I feel when a step daughter walks in at 430 with a kfc takeaway with visiting boyfriend - in their early twenties, knowing that dinner is has been prepared and ready for 6 pm ?? Am I unreasonable to be pissed off

Entitled to be annoyed and a reminder about letting you know in advance if she doesn't want food, been there and nipped it in the bud

Your house. Your rules. It’s just courteous for your SD to check in ahead of time. Groceries and meals in a family house are generally planned well in advance. It’s not a free for all. If she wants to live elsewhere where she can come and go as she pleases, and buy and pay for her own food, she can move out. You need to have at least one conversation with her.

Can you not just box it up for the next day? I used to get what I missed as my packed lunch

I wouldn't care! I'd just plate it up for later or next day or freeze it. Whatever

Our dd and her boyfriend did similar this evening. No issue here. Dinner put in fridge for tomorrow.

This.

For themselves?
For the whole family?

Why bother. Just carry on. Eat it, box it, for lunch, the freezer. Whatever works.

I couldn’t get particularly annoyed if someone wanted food earlier than my mealtime and had bought it themselves. If you’re hungry, you’re hungry. It’s not like they came in at 4.30 demanding food. Maybe they hadn’t had lunch? They might have been perfectly able to eat again at 6. If not, there are fridges and freezers or everyone else gets more!
How do you and your step daughter get on generally?

My son would say that was a snack and eat both!

I would be pissed off - and I have been frequently pissed off over similar. I'm not running a hotel. I meal plan and guests are welcome to opt out - but I should know one way or the other. Relationship is irrelevant - this kind of thing tends to happen with young adult visitors e.g. my dd and bf and dn and bf. Dd's bf would just eat both.