Please help me help my son

[Shouldntbutdo]

Hi. I have a son in his mid 20s. Until now, all plain sailing. Good job, sports hobbies, friends. But he is struggling at the moment. Very down, no motivation, seems hopeless. I suspect he smokes a lot of weed which won’t be helping. How do I help? And should I? At a loss. Thanks x

What makes you suspect weed @Shouldntbutdo?

He’s an adult.. You can try to talk to him and get him to open up but you can’t solve his problems.

Try to find out what he is self medicating with the drugs, if he is. Ie the underlying problem which he may be using drugs to solve.

Does he have a job? And does he live with you?

Talk just ask the puff makes him relax switch off, some kids can get away with it, others who have under lining conditions like depression it can have a devastating affect, if you go to locked mental health wards you see 17-24 year old, suffering cannabis induced psychosis, paranoia completely lost. If it seems like it's a social thing no problem, but if he's constantly moody alone I would call your GP for help

It’s easy to point at the weed as the issue, as very often it is. It may seem to ‘take the edge off’ but its very often the undermining issue - my DB had this and it didn’t end in a nice way, try and talk to him and see what’s going on. X

One of DD’s friends (20) has been using weed heavily for over a year and it’s definitely changed her. She’s just about managing at uni but DD says that she’s become very negative and unlike her former bubbly self. DD thinks that her relationship with her bf is the real issue, he’s not nice to her but she lacks the confidence to dump him. 🙁

Talk to your son, OP, and see whether he’ll open up to you.

It's most probably the weed. It's an awful drug. Get some leaflets and talk to him about it. Not in a confrontational way but acknowledging that people have been lied to about what a mellow drug weed is.

Best of luck.

Yes keep lines of communication open to find out why he needs to smoke weed. He might be doing coke too? It seems to be quite prevalent with that age group.

You never stop worrying about your children no matter how old they are.

Are you familiar with the expression "you are only as happy as your unhappiest child"?

Only the most hard hearted of people would not care if their adult child was unhappy. The OP may not be able to fix it but he is still her son.