Family Problem

[StMarie4me]

I have 4 adult children. Eldest 3 all with partners/ spouses and 2 have children in their teens.
My 4th is DD27. We share a home as both of us are single. She is disabled, and has the following; ADHD, PTSD, Chronic Anxiety, Clinical Depression, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and severe Asthma. She does not work as she is unable to work. She did do some voluntary work 2 years ago but it was too much and caused CFS flares.
She absolutely feels that her siblings judge her for not working, and has had comments from her nieces that sound as if they have come from the adults.
Does anyone have any advice as to how I/ we can best approach this so that they understand that she is disabled, and not just lazy or difficult? I think that there is an element of her interpretation in the mix, as I am surprised that they make her feel this way; I thought that they were better than that. But I can't discount her feelings either.
Help!

I think I'd mention to the parent, the comment your grandchild has made and how it made your dd27 feel and ask if there is anything behind it they'd like to talk about and does their dgc understand your dd27's health conditions and if not could they have a gentle chat with them to avoid upset in the future etc?
I'd avoid accusations and assume the comments have been driven by misunderstandings and a lack of knowledge - as I'm sure you're aware people often don't react well to criticism of themselves or their children.

They could all go along to her next GP appointment and let the GP set them straight!

Poor, young woman doesn't have to justify her current state of life to anyone. It's unbelievable that they don't have faith in their sibling. They need a good talking to.

Sorry you're having to deal with this situation

Initially, I was with you and would certainly agree that your daughter’s siblings need to be more understanding.

However.

I can also see the other side.

What does your daughter do with her days? Does she have friends, a social life? What’s the plan for her to be fully independent?

She’s a young woman with potential and it may be that your other children are thinking long term here. They may worry that when you are no longer around, your daughter’s full dependency on you (to keep a roof over her head, feed her, be company to her) will transfer to them when they have their own children to look after.