My son in his late 20s is involved with a woman a couple of years older. Whenever we meet her, she’s lovely, polite, relaxed and seems to have a great sense of humour.
However, every few months they have these massive bust ups where, according to my son, she makes pretty harsh comments about him accusing him of being boring, selfish, stupid and on several occasions when she’s been drunk, has been even more personal, for example at a wedding, telling everyone he has the smallest cock she has ever seen, whilst getting very flirty with other male guests - including the groom! This was witnessed by my daughter and others, so not hearsay.
I’d rather keep out of it, but he over shares with either myself, his sister and even his friends. He tells us she can be ‘psycho’ and it’s all over - she’s quite happy to kick off majorly in a public venue which he finds particularly uncomfortable. Then we hear she’s apologised and promised she won’t do or say these things again - and it’s back on. He seems to forgive her at the drop of a hat.
We’ve just had the rinse and repeat this last weekend. On Friday he was all upset because it was over as she’d accused him yet again of being too boring and walked out. Today he said they met up and had a great time on Saturday and how about she joins us for lunch during the week.
Tbh, I said no I didn’t want to see her, which I think has surprised him. I don’t particularly want to pretend that everything is ‘normal’ and I’ve pointed out to him that if it was a man treating his sister the same way he’s telling us, I wouldn’t be happy so this is no different. I just wonder if I’m being a bit harsh too by taking this stance? I don’t want to make him feel he has to choose between his girlfriend and his family, but I also don’t want to be involved in all the drama either.
He’s a successful, good looking man with a responsible job where there are plenty of opportunities to meet and interact with women, and he comes across as very personable and confident but seems to have got stuck in this endless cycle of breakup/reconciliation like a pair of teenagers! They can’t live with each other, they can’t live without each other.