I’m a nearly 40 year old mum of two. I’m very very competent - I have run several high school departments, I own nice 4 bed house in a sleepy Wiltshire town. My children are loved, well cared for and typically developing. I work part time but mostly I’m at home with my kids (they’re 1 and 2.)
My husband and I became Catholics so we go to Church every Sunday and maybe spend 20 minutes praying everyday. The children join in with this a bit but mostly clamber around.
My family life growing up was ok - I’m the eldest of four, quite parentified because my Father was inadequate, although not usually unpleasant. My mum did everything. My youngest sibling is 12 years my junior. I did a lot of cooking and I did the school run for the whole of sixth form. As I say; I’m very competent.
Everythihg went wrong when I had a baby. My mum became beside herself that he didn’t love her enough - he was very clingy/attached baby. I think this is fine and he grew into a very confident toddler.
We had a family holiday in our holiday house. My extended family came for free. I
said one of my sisters couldn’t bring her latest boyf. (YDY but my babies come first!) She kicked off and my mum defended her.
To cut a long story short, my mum stopped talking to me after a row on said holiday. She wanted to look after my baby overnight and I said she couldn’t. She said I wasn’t coping (I really really was) and she said she couldn’t help me if I wouldn’t hand over my baby in the night.
The holiday then came to an abrupt end and I got an email from a third party to say that I’d been groomed into an extremist cult which promotes authoritarian parenting/corporal punishment. It was like reading a fantasy/nightmare. We consciously gentle parent and we go to a Catholic Church like 30 million other people around the world.
I then found out from a family friend that my sister had written the letter with the help of a SiL. My mum claims she has nothing to do with it but maintained her silence towards me.
I don’t understand it.
how can a mother ignore her child?