Moving

[user1485851222]

Adult child moving house, they are single. As a parent I offered to help with the move, but the offer was declined. Got to admit I was hurt. It has taken 5 months for their house sale & purchase to go thru, I've literally had phone calls every day. Complaining about solicitors etc, got to admit they have been very stressed, which has led me to being stressed. Cross words have been had. But I feel sad that they are doing the move on their own from one city to another. I wanted to be there to help. Is that unreasonable

Ime they are practising being a grown up.
It won't last.....

Be thankful. One of mine accepted the offer of help. We turned up on the moving day and he hadn't started packing or dismantling furniture. DH ended up driving the removals van he hired as insurance didn't cover under 25s. It was too small so they ended up doing 4 runs. I spent all day cleaning the rental he was leaving including gardening/ windows/ovens. It was horrendous. Visit when he's settled in with a housing warming gift.

If you've ever read any of Lisa Damour's books one thing she suggests when they're moaning is to ask "is this something that you want my help with or do you just want to talk"?

I'm a fixer and this made me realise that just because they're complaining doesn't mean they want me to jump right in and try and fix everything for them. If they just want to moan, that's fine