Thread 52 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 24 - Start of Uni Yr 3

[Oblomov24]

2024 Autumn, start of year 3 for those at Uni.

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp.

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.

51 Previous thread - 51.

@mummyinbeds that sounds great!
@Oblomov24 i hope he’s had the required shock. Big 4 world is brutal and it’s not a bad idea to have an idea of that now.

@DontCallMeBaby i fully understand the home friends going back to uni thing. DS has had an ok summer but is slumping again now and I worry of the effects on him as all his friends go back to uni and he stays here. It’s a stark reminder that things have not gone to plan. Take care and as you say they will be alright in the end but it may take a while.

Wave to all and thanks for the new thread @Oblomov24. All fine here as summer draws to a close. Our house has had a revolving door this summer as the three DCs came back from travels, went away on holidays, did summer jobs, visited bfs/gfs etc - I cannot keep track of them half the time. We managed a week away all together, which we haven't been able to do for a couple of years, and that was lovely.

Interested to hear about the Australia experiences in finding work (or not). My eldest DD (26) is planning on possibly going to Aus to work for a year or so "just to try working/living in another country". I think I need to gently point out she might not just walk into a job. I think the intent is to end up here again long-term, but she and her bf didn't much like the jobs they did for a few years after uni so they are in no rush to pick up any "career" type jobs just yet. I envy them this plan, and worry about it, in about the same amounts.

@Oblomov24 glad that your DS passed the resits and hopefully the message has hit home.

@Oblomov24 dd sounds very similar to your ds1, just too much going on and study took a back seat. It’s easy to think you’ll watch lectures later then they start to build up… She now regrets it as she’s got a job on her hands getting up to a 2:1. Sometimes they just have to learn by their mistakes - both mine do. It’s all part of growing up isn’t it and learning where you can slack a bit and where you can’t.

@Oblomov24 Great news about the resits. I do think they all hit bumps along the way and this was in his power to overcome. He rose to it! I would have been camp tough love too though.

@DontCallMeBaby I think I must have missed what's happened with your dd?

@mummyinbeds dd has got a small job and a microwave but no oven. I debated an air fryer but will see how she manages first. She's the only one on her flat atm so hoping they're moving in soon.

@NCTDN she’s missing her year abroad due to an eating disorder. An academic year when she was meant to be thousands of miles away has turned into quite the opposite, one with her home.

@DontCallMeBaby I hope that she (and you) manage to navigate the friends/uni stuff. Best of luck to you

@Oblomov24 At least he passed! I can imagine you had Stern Words.

It is my first Day Off today (I have gone to part-time) and it also happens to be my birthday. I am planning on doing very, very, little. I am awake at my normal time (of course) and have already had to stop myself from checking work email.

Happy Birthday @PhotoDad. Definitely resist the urge - if there is anything desperately urgent they will call 🙂

Happy birthday Photodad!

@DontCallMeBaby - best wishes to you and your DD this year.

@PhotoDad - happy birthday and enjoy the part time hours!

@Oblomov24 - v glad to hear your DS passed and hope he has a successful year.

DS off to London tomorrow for his day interview thing. He's staying at a Premier Inn in the centre and then coming home via a friend somewhere on the outskirts and another friend in Coventry. I've not been to London since 1994 and feel like a country bumpkin! I used to go quite a lot when I was younger. Am out of the city habit now.

Good luck to ds @craggyrat and happy birthday @PhotoDad !

Happy birthday @PhotoDad have a nice relaxing work free day!

DS2s first day of sixth form, they look so grown up in their suits. I sent one of his GCSEs for a review and it's come back with an increase in grade so he's very happy about that.

Best of luck to him @craggyrat , it’ll be a great experience too 🤞

Good luck to your DS @craggyrat

DS was 2021er whose GCSEs were cancelled. It had a devastating impact on him, so much so that when he came out of his last A level exam, I asked him how he felt and he said it was such a relief that they hadn’t cancelled them.
They missed out on so much during the pandemic. Over a third of DS’s year (125) have taken a gap year. Some to travel, some to work and some, like DS, just to work out what they want to do next.
DS started his gap year having surgery to repair a sports injury. It meant he couldn’t work for 4months and turned down a job in Sept because he didn’t want to do a months work then go off sick. Fortunately he was able to start working once the physio signed him off and he has worked part time since May. He’s loved it and they have offered him an apprenticeship if Uni doesn’t work out.
The gap year has allowed him to explore his options and despite getting an unconditional offer for business at an RG uni he has chosen a niche subject that is a little more vocational. However, he knows he can go the masters route if he wants.

He has grown up over the last 12 months, his wobbling mental health has stopped wobbling. His coping skills are much more solid and I am happy to let him go. I don’t say that as a clingy mother but as one who was totally floored by a 16yr old who took himself off into a wood with the intent of hanging himself. Fortunately a well time phone call from a friend stopped him and a couple of days later he admit to me that he came so close. I later found the note he had written.

Three and a half yrs on he has sorted out his demons. He talks to me when he’s feeling down, has worries or just needs a shoulder.
I recognise the subtle signs but rather than wrap him in cotton wool we have encouraged him to go out and live. Because they need to know what they are going to miss if they choose other routes.

I think what changed his mindset was a series of events. I was diagnosed with cancer then 2mnth after I finished treatment my DH had a stroke. It could have impacted DS in a very negative way but I think he realised at that point just how valuable life is and maybe imagining what life would be like without one or both of us, he realised that loss is hard. We then lost his GF a few months later which seem to be the catalyst for him. He went on to achieving his predicted grades ( the majority of his year didn’t) and we are now here 3weeks away from starting uni.

There will always be part of me that will worry but three of his closest friends are at uni in the same city. If he has a wobble support is there.

I hope life is good for him. He is better prepared for uni after this year and we have seen the return of his hunger for knowledge. He is third generation uni educated, he always planned to go to uni because that’s just what our family do but working in the construction industry during his gap year has opened up his eyes to alternatives.

Very best wishes to your DS and to his start of uni life @Angrymum22 Your update is both sad and uplifting; how far they all have come from those dark pandemic days.

I hope you and your DH are in better health too.

Good luck Craggy ds, and Happy Birthday PhotoDad.
What an update @Angrymum22 , wishing all of you all the very best.

Oh @Angrymum22 i want to give you a big hug and thinking about your DS being in such a good place now compared to his darkest days has moved me to tears. And I’m sitting in a national tyre shop. Thank you for that update.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @photodad! I bet your dd has made you a fabulous card… 🎂

best of luck to your boy @craggyrat

All the best for tomorrow for your lad @craggyrat

Happy birthday @PhotoDad - lazy days are the best kind  and welcome to p/t work schedules - I love being p/t.

Great news re the grade increase @JustHereWithMyPopcorn and hope he's enjoying 6th form so far.

What an update @Angrymum22. Your lad has come such a long way and I wish him all the best with starting uni this month. You've also had a right time of it these last few years too but I hope both yours and your DH's health is back on track now [hugs]

Sent you a pm.

@craggyrat Good luck for DS' interview.

@Angrymum22 So pleased for you that your DS is in a much better place. I hope he has a great first year. My heart goes out to you all for the tough times you have faced.

DD has been told that she has to register to vote in her Uni town otherwise she will be fined - does that sound right?
Her house share mate got a letter whilst staying there had sent off all their email addresses (with their permission) and now DD has got the email stating she MUST register. She's registered here at home and has voted twice in elections since turning 18 so doesn't want to lose her home voting status. Anyone else had this with their YP?

They can register in both areas. They can vote at local elections in both areas (as long it's different Councils). For Generals they can choose which one to vote in - they may feel their vote counts more in one of the areas.
They don't have to register in their uni area, if registered at home though.

Thanks @Seeline. If they don't have to I wonder why they haven't seen that her name is already registered as a voter already albeit in our town not Uni town! Can they enforce a fine if they don't register at the Uni one too? It's panicking DD as new ground.

Next thing to tackle is council tax as nothing has come through so we think we should contact the district council directly so no fines come through for that! Is it weird no letter has come through or is it on the students to state they are students and are exempt? Do you know anything about that?