How to support development of self esteem

[JiffLemon]

We have several young people (all early 20s) in our extended family, who, due to circumstances beyond their control, have extremely low self esteem, that they are undeserving of happiness, especially in relationships & that their chosen partners will leave them at the slightest thing. Sorry trying to not be too outing regarding circumstances.
Anyone had any experience of this and how to support them? One is happy to seek therapy, the other isn't there yet & were working towards that.
But I'm more thinking about small, everyday things that would genuinely help and support them without it being hugely obvious to them what we are doing if that makes sense?

I'm very much like this. I have anxiety and always had poor self esteem.

Therapy is definitely a good idea. Medication can be considered.

Baby steps...set mine goals, meet them, reward them.

Pick something that gives them a step towards independence (getting the bus alone, a driving lesson, whatever is applicable to them).

Its a lifelong thing to grow. I'm jealous of people who have it naturally!

Thank you I really appreciate the reply.
For one that is exactly what we are doing with them and it's definitely helpful. For another though they are able to work, go out etc etc but just have constantly in the back of their head they're not good enough and any slight thing will result in their partner leaving them, stems from abandonment as a child. These are not my children so I am only able to help so much, but want to support where I can, but the main thing I think will help, therapy, is not something they are ready for.

I would try to show them things like imposter syndrome, fear of abandonment. These are common fears and they don't go away as such but you can learn to challenge them and show up anyway.

A great book: feel the fear and do it anyway.

Thank you so much for the suggestion 🙂

Are they working or have they got some free time.

I'd offer to enroll them in an extended outward bound type expedition for adults if they were open to it. Facing physical challenges and seeing them through is fantastic for self esteem and having faith in yourself which with the added confidence that brings helps to strength emotional resilience

They work full time. Unfortunately abandoned by a parent in childhood and it has left scars.