Daughter treats children differently..help!

[Worndownbyit]

I have one child. She has 2 children. The children have different fathers, older child has had no contact from the father for 4 years since they were a toddler. She is married to the father of child 2 and he's a good step dad to child 1. Recently I have noticed that she favours the second child greatly over the first. The older child can do no right and is always being told off yet the younger one gets away with everything. Should I try and say something or is it none of my business? When they come and stay at weekends the older child tells me they want to come and live with me and it breaks my heart. I feel so awful about it.

This is very, very difficult.
Do you think she is aware at all?? Is her partner noticing?
How good is your relationship?

Sounds like a typical golden child/scapegoat dynamic which does no favours for either child. Can you speak to her and point out her behaviour?

Unfortunately she's very difficult to deal with. Whilst she would NEVER accept it, she is a narcissist and can do no wrong. Her memories of her childhood are either completely false or very twisted- I've pulled her up several times on things she's said and she doesn't like it at all. She won't have me on social media (in case I spot her lies) but I am sent screenshots by a family member and get to see what's going on for the world to see. She has lied about me to her husband and in his heart he knows she's mentally unstable but unfortunately he feels stuck because if he pulls her up he's worried she'll go off with the children while he's working away. I had a major falling out with her this year in March, things improved for a short time but have now gone back to before. ALL she ever wants is money from me, yet I get no thanks whatsoever, not that I really want it, just for her to stop being awful would be nice. If I'm absolutely honest the only reason I'm still around her is for those children.. the oldest in particular. She'd never hurt him physically- she's very against that- but just seeing them unhappy is so sad.