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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Any advice please?

3 replies

duvet · 09/07/2024 20:15

How can I help DD 18? Should I be helping her? Over the last year or so we have taken a big step back, she wants to be independent and rightly so, however she is struggling from one thing to another and it's hard for her. Started 1 college course, with persuasion completed the first year, then quit weekend job due to being given a warning, started another college course and quit after 5 months as she had a big fall out, (she's had quite a few since school - has RSD). Looking for work since then, started one but they told her it wasn't working out after 3 weeks & asked her to leave; she thought she'd been a bit cocky &/or not very quick to learn.

Has since started a workaway which I was hesitant about as it's 6 hours away & long hours but knew it was what she really wanted to do, so kept mouth shut apart from making sure she knew what the job entails. Although she finds it difficult to envisage how things might be.
A few days in & she's struggling and I am finding it hard to know how to help her. She struggles to understand why people aren't more empathetic towards her and I don't know what to say to her! I want her to develop resilience, I've told her that the only person that can truly help her is herself, but I know life is harder when you're neurodiverse.

How can I help her through this, to succeed, to help her get along with the other young people there & not take things personally. Thank you in advance for any advice.

OP posts:
nootropics · 09/07/2024 20:26

is she on meds?

duvet · 09/07/2024 21:15

Yeah she is on a low dose as she has ASD too, she says it does help when she takes it.

OP posts:
duvet · 11/07/2024 18:51

And today the manager has told her he thinks it's best if she leaves .... She's obviously upset as am I but I didnt react in the 'right way' on the phone and 'how could we have thought she was capable?' - If we'd have said anything she would have told us to MYOB. Tried to talk she didnt want to listen - She hung up and texted to say she'd make her own way home! I replied that we'd talk in the morning.

I cant win - I've had enough. I'm constantly falling between feeling guilty & sorry for her .... to not having being firm enough with her and consequently thinking everything revolves around her! Anyone?

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