When did your tricky teenagers grow up?

[Plastoslax]

I have a 21 yo DD who was an easy, studious and sporty child until 16 when she had a breakdown and was treated for depression.

She has stayed on track with her education (though at a lower level/pace than she would have been at before) but gave up sport she had adored. Her friend group fell by the wayside too.

She's getting better. Currently off meds and therapy but I find her behaviour to be like a moody, sullen teen at times. She seems to lack empathy where I am concerned and will really only ring to moan about things.

I had an injury recently and she never once asked me how I was. It's just all take take and no give.

I thought she'd be a bit more mature by now but maybe I'm expecting too much. I mean she was pretty much derailed by the breakdown and depression and spent a few years just about scraping through life.

Anyone out there have a teen who was late to maturity?
(FWIW I was a nightmare teen who didn't get my act together until 21 and I had no such excuse as my DD does so I do think possible IABU)

My dd really struggled age 13 to about 17.
I feel very lucky with her now that she is motivated and has completed uni, has a real passion for an area of work, has friends l, loves travel etc.

She is generally polite and a good person. She is also great with her younger siblings.

Around me is her safe space. She does very little to help at home and if I was unwell or injured she would care in her own way but I certainly wouldn't expect much from her:

I think 21 year olds are often still
self absorbed. Apparently the brain is not fully developed until 25.
I remember being at home from college when I was 21 and my mum was in hospital. I headed back to my shared house the day after she came back from hospital even though classes were not starting for another week. I should have stayed to look after her obviously but was not until years later I realised how selfish and inconsiderate I had been.

Thats interesting and reassuring mrsplum and myflight.