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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Original poster

Son leaving for the Marines

26 replies

Jemski39 · 03/07/2024 22:45

My son (22) will shortly be leaving to complete his training for the marines. I'm so very proud of him but also sad and worried about what the future will hold, with the way the world is atm. His training is roughly around 9 months and he will get some short periods of time for home leave. Once his training is complete he will get posted somewhere in the UK. I had him when I was 18 and we are very close. I want him to be happy and to live his life but I am also scared. I have no idea what to expect or how often we will be able to speak. Does anyone have any experience or can offer some advice please? I haven't told him how I'm feeling as I don't want to him to feel guilty or anything like that, I know that I probably sound very selfish. But he's my first born and I can't help but worry. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
hububalub · 04/07/2024 21:25

Sorry I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to say congratulations and well done to him. I have been suggesting this as a career option for my son who has not managed to find a job yet and I would be very proud if he tried this career x

Perr · 04/07/2024 21:31

You must be very proud of him.
It's tough when they leave home for uni or other reasons.
Try to find something new for you to enjoy and keep busy. He'll be back to visit before you know it.

Original poster
Jemski39 · 05/07/2024 09:26

Thanks both for replying. Yes I am really proud of him.
@hububalub maybe see if there are any recruitment days that you could take your son along too and see if that sparks his interest.
@Perr I have a busy life, so plenty to do. I'm just going to miss him, that's all. I'm guess I'll adjust eventually

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LoyalMember · 09/07/2024 15:10

I'd be incredibly proud. The Royal Marines are the best in the world. Well done to your son, and you for bringing up such a good lad.

Lentilweaver · 09/07/2024 15:13

Of course you are worried. Nothing selfish about that. Isn't there a section of MN for people in the forces? They might offer you good advice.

ChinUpChestOut · 09/07/2024 15:19

Hi OP - congratulations! My DS is still part way through his training in the Royal Marines, battling through COVID delays (tested positive on the day of his final test to get selected), injury (6 months in rehab) and then pneumonia on his final commando test. I don't know who's suffered more - him, or me and DH who can't believe his run of luck! He has another 3 months to go as he has officer training and it's a bit longer. But it's a family - they have you down to meet everyone and you feel part of the training and of the corps.

Training is SO tough. Focus on cheering him up when he calls and giving support and encouragement. You'll be able to speak to/whatsapp him from time to time, and don't worry if you don't hear from him for a couple of weeks. Just send a couple of messages. They go on exercise to cold wet places and he'll have lots of stories to tell you afterwards.

There's a high drop out rate, so fingers crossed he gets through. Providing he passes, he'll have the best group of mates in the world who will literally do anything for him, wherever he ends up.

Original poster
Jemski39 · 09/07/2024 19:51

@LoyalMember Thank you, I am incredibly proud of him. He's worked so hard. I couldn't ask for a better son, he will be very missed while he's away.

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Original poster
Jemski39 · 09/07/2024 19:53

@Lentilweaver I did look to see if there was anything on here specifically for the forces but couldn't see anything. Thank you for the suggestion through.

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Original poster
Jemski39 · 09/07/2024 20:00

@ChinUpChestOut Well done to your son, you must be very proud and relieved that he's almost there. He really has had a tough time, and I can imagine that it's been extremely difficult and worrying for you too.
It's really good to know that they involve family. We are very close and the thought of not seeing him and being a part of such an important journey was really hard.
Also really helpful to know that there may be times that I won't hear from him as they will be out on exercise etc. I will do my best to cheer him up and keep his morale up when he's having a tough time. What an adventure he's going to have! Feel both excited and terrified for him!
All the luck in the work to your son and I hope you have a wonderful day watching him pass out.

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QuietFlame · 09/07/2024 20:00

I have a son in the RAF so completely understand your feelings.
I am incredibly proud of him but have been very anxious at times too .

mitogoshi · 09/07/2024 20:08

Firstly congratulations, but it's a bit bittersweet, I know I have a dd in the navy. The good news is that they seem to get plenty of leave once initial training is over, the first few weeks is definitely the hardest. Once they pass out they go onto specialist training, lots of pathways available. He could end up deploying with my dd at some stage even! I'm not silly, I know she could be in a combat situation but instead i concentrate on what a great training situation she has, I would definitely look at the positives, the travel opportunities, the sports, events (the sold out kind) they can get tickets for sometimes, could have gone to Wimbledon for instance to stand there!

mitogoshi · 09/07/2024 20:10

@hububalub

Definitely worth talking to the recruiters, each of the services has different requirements, and if he has qualifications it's possible to go in as an officer

Original poster
Jemski39 · 09/07/2024 21:02

Thank you all for your replies. For those who also have children in the forces, thank you for making me feel a little less alone with how I'm feeling. I'm trying to just think about each stage at a time, so for now it's training. He leaves on Monday so really feeling it atm and trying to spend as much time with him as I can. I've taken the day off on Monday so I will drive him to Exeter and he will get the train for the last part of the trip to the base. Weird, but I felt like I had to take him, didn't feel right just waving him off to make the journey alone (although he is more than capable 😂) he's humoured me and said that it's fine.

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Skim14 · 15/07/2024 18:58

Hi,
My son is 18 and he has just gone to start his training for the Royal Marines too. I knew it was going to be hard to see him go but the house feels so empty. I feel your mixed emotions of worry and pride. Sending you a big hug. X

Twoshoesnewshoes · 15/07/2024 19:17

My DS24 is in the navy. Agree, I am so proud, anxious, delighted, worried and resigned!
he is three years in, he absolutely loves it. It is really hard, but an amazing opportunity. A real life lived to the full.

Original poster
Jemski39 · 15/07/2024 19:52

Thank you both for your messages. It's definitely a mixed bag of emotions. He went today and saying goodbye was so hard. It did feel nice seeing him so excited/nervous for his next chapter and I'm so proud of him. I had a good cry on my way back home. It's definitely going to be quiet without him. @Skim14 our boys will probably meet at some point whilst they're there x

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Skim14 · 15/07/2024 20:06

I know they will all help each other through the training and that makes me feel so much better and it's so nice we can chat through this forum. To know another mum is feeling the same is a real support.

Juztintime · 15/07/2024 20:09

My family members were Marines. You can be very proud of your boy x

tinytemper66 · 15/07/2024 20:16

My son is on the RAF and is to be deployed next year on a 9 month deployment. It is hard but it is a life they choose.
We miss him as his RAF base is 5/6 hrs away from us.
You will be proud of his achievements and miss him and worry about him.
Take care

TheFairyCaravan · 15/07/2024 20:21

DS1 has been in the army for 10yrs. DH did 35yrs in the RAF so I sort of knew what he was getting himself into. It was still very difficult when we dropped him off. I find the deployments harder than I ever did when DH went away, but I’m so proud of him. He’s achieved a lot and he loves it.

Good luck to your sons @Jemski39 & @Skim14. I hope they have long, fulfilling careers

Skim14 · 15/07/2024 20:24

Thank you@TheFairyCaravan😊

thinblurredblueline · 15/07/2024 22:29

Two sons in the army both joined at the same time aged 16 and 17 I was a nervous wreck. I feel like they were taken too young.

We have a family group chat to prompt interaction and they have both popped home little and often. They get lots of leave which they don't always use with mates. Just don't be upset if they don't want to come home all of the time, they are constantly meeting new people and have social events etc which means they are busy and happy.

If you live in the same area your lad grew up you'll find he will visit more so to see old friends too etc. Unfortunately where we moved to as my husband is also serving, is the back and beyond so there is nothing to entice them here other than a dilapidated pub and Tescos!

I hope you will be ok. Trust the process. Good luck to your son. X

Original poster
Jemski39 · 16/07/2024 00:14

It's really nice to know that there's another mum feeling this @Skim14 and I really hope they can help eachother through the training.
It's so lovely to read messages from others experiencing something similar. We live in the place he grew up, so lots of friends and family for him to visit. I've heard from him this evening - he had his head shaved when he arrived 🙈😂. And he's okay, likes the other lads etc. He's been told he gets 3 weeks summer leave after his first 30 days, which I'm looking forward to already. I'm knackered from the drive today but can't sleep thinking about him and hoping he will have a restful first night.

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Tilesformiles2 · 14/09/2024 10:46

How are you and your lad finding things now ? I've just found this thread and have a friend whose boy is currently doing his training for the Marines too. I'll point her to here I think.

Original poster
Jemski39 · 15/09/2024 10:29

Hi @Tilesformiles2 it's better thanks. Kind of getting used to it. I still miss him and it was hard saying goodbye again after he's visit home in the summer. It definitely helps that we have regular contact, he's good at calling etc. it also really helps that he's enjoying it (on the most, he's had tough days). I hope your friends son is doing okay.

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