Alcoholic adult son with schizophrenia

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My son is 22, diagnosed with schizophrenia a couple of years ago, takes his medication as prescribed (depot injection every four weeks). He is also an alcoholic. He is unemployed, no money of his own. He attends a day centre from 9am to 3pm.

I cam home from work today to find him not at home. He has taken his playstation and has sold it (I phoned the shop where he has sold stuff before, they confirmed). I expect that he has used the money to buy alcohol. I am left here, yet again, worried, on tenterhooks, pacing up and down, hoping that he comes home soon and that this is the proverbial "rock bottom" at last.

Don't really know why I am writing this here, I suppose I just want to get it off my chest. Thank you for reading.

Wow that sounds really tough OP. I hope he turns up soon in not too bad a state. Would he accept any help for the alcoholism? Is Naltrexone something he might try now his schizophrenia is under control?

Sorry you're going through this OP.

Lock up anything sentimental or valuable as it'll be next. Sadly. That's what happened to the sister of my friend . Her jewellery went "missing". Sad.

Thank you for reading and replying. Yes, it is very tough. He accepts he has an alcohol problem, he goes to see an addiciton counselor once a week, and he wants to go into a rehab facility (he's is on the waiting list). He gets no money from me, I have no money lying around at home, no alcohol either. The playstation was a birthday present and he swore he would not sell it.

That's addiction for you OP, addicts would sell their granny for their next hit.
He will need some detox/Librium regime to help him off the alcohol, so hopefully the wait is not too long for rehab, he will need to have willpower of steel, it won't be a cure-all situation IME.
What does he do at the day centre? Could they offer him any support at all?
sending you good wishes 💫

@Sue152 thanks for the tip about Naltrexone. I will mention it the next time he has an appointment with his doctor. I am also his legal guardian. I think that's the right translation (we're in Germany).

@lovinglaughingliving The day centre staff know about the alcohol problem, he has turned up there drunk a couple of times. It's a day centre for people with a mental illness. There are various activities they can take part in, he particulary enjoys working in the kitchen.

I am particularly worried this time because I suppose he got over 100 euros for the playstation. No doubt he will hide the money and drink it all away. The last relapse was almost 3 weeks ago - he found some money in his room, but only enough for a bottle of wine.

Make sure you look after yourself too OP. Are there any support groups for relatives of alcoholics where you are, like Al-anon perhaps?

There is very little you can do of course OP if he is dead set on drinking. I wouldn't say too much about the play station if i were you as i'm guessing he already feels a lot of shame and self loathing - unless you think he will hand over some of the money or it will have some other positive effect.

You say he enjoys working in the kitchen. I wonder if you could bring up the idea of him doing some professional cooking courses, food hygiene that sort of thing as something to do once he is sober (if you haven't already). It might help him to feel he has some sort of future perhaps. I'd go gently with it and obviously wait for a time when he's having a better day.

I really feel for you OP.

@Sue152 thank you for your kind words. He started an apprenticeship as a cook in an old peoples home in 2020, but couldn't finish it because he would turn up drunk at work or even drink while there (vodka in a sodastream bottle). his aim is to do the rehab, then do an apprenticeship in a canteen or similar. He accepts that working in a restaurant would be far too stressful for him

@Sue152 I try to look after myself, enough sleep, healthy food, no alcohol now at because it is banned from the house. He went to al-anon meetings himself quite regularly, but suddenly stopped. Maybe a bad sign.

Does alcohol interfere with the effects his meds are supposed to have on him?

@OhcantthInkofaname yes they do. but I don't know to what extent. He can't drink regularly though because he normally has no access to money (from me at least) unless he sells something or borrows money from somebody.

So so tough.

A support group might be very helpful for you. Al Anon worth a try.
You can phone into meetings if that's easier.

@culturevulture1984 I have been to support groups in the past, before things got worse. After listening to other parents and their stories, I always came away with the feeling that things could be a lot worse. And here we are now!

I hear you. It sounds close to rock bottom.

I have found groups helpful.
If you are doing better you can help others,if not you can receive support and just talk to people who understand.

@culturevulture1984 yes, it was helpful to feel that I am not the only one experiencing such problems.

The only thing you can do is look into Al Anon for yourself.

He needs to go to AA whilst he waits for a rehab place. There are meetings every day in most major towns and also online meetings 24/7

@FusionChefGeoff yes, I will look to see if there are any groups for relatives here. My son went to al anon meetings until recently. He said he found them helpful, but a couple of weeks ago he stopped going.

Now it's just a matter of waiting, hoping he turns up soon.

That sounds incredibly stressful for you. Who is there to support you?

@determinedtomakethiswork My son has lived with me for the past six years. His other parent has their own mental and physical issues to deal with. As for me, I'm now lying in bed hoping he comes home soon.

He has turned up at the other parent's place. Thank you for hearing me.