Lack of support from family

[Dogweiner]

To cut a long story short I went through an awful divorce 7 years ago from a controlling partner.
I have been in and out of court since. . . I have a 14 year old.boy. who has been diagnosed with autism.

He was refusing to go to school for a while, which has been very stressful for both of us.

My parents moved away 400.miles away when my son turned two

I moved into a social.houae with alot of work that has to be done including floor boards changing.. No white goods etc. It has been a very over whelming daunting and lonely experience.

Since my Parents have moved they do not visit us. I have asked on numerous occasions and there are always barriers of some kind.

My mum once said there nothing for us up there then quickly said apart from you.

She said they have more facilities at there house.

The latest excuse is that the car isn't safe enough to make the journey and that my son likes going down and they have more facilities.

They drove 4 hours to stay in a hotel recently.

There has been constantly been barriers to visit. It hurts..I could.have really done with support going through divorce, custody battle my son's diagnosis, school refusal house move and job lose.

I honestly don't think they will ever visit again. I'm not sure how I should mentally deal with this or what I should do.

If I don't travel to visit them I'll never see them.

That must be so very difficult to deal with and I can understand your pain as my M has always been distant. You sort of grieve the relationship that you wished you had.

Are you or your DS thinking of ever moving to be closer to your DPs?

Have you ever had any counselling? You've been through a lot. We had one school refusing ASD teen and it nearly broke us.

The SN Teen Section on MN can be supportive. I don't know if you've found that section yet?

Thank you for your response. I hope you've got your teen back to school ok.

It's brutal. I felt like a failure and it's pretty isolating. Fingers crossed he'll stay in school.

My Parents don't want to come to Scotland to help with lawyers, childcare , court.or emotional support.

My Mum says it's a break for me to go down and that my son likes it down there. He does but it comes with it's own stress due to change of routine (harder with his mass).

I think my Mum wants to see us without any baggage, inconvenience or get her hands dirty.

My Mun had me young said they sacrificed and now want to.enjoy life.

My Dad fell out with my Mum as she won't come.up.

My Mum needs constant attention from people all the time particularly, from my Dad.

She wants to know what I'm doing all the time and who I'm with.

If I'm doing something alone she'll send a message with acsad face even if I'm happy.

My Mum wants to know all my problems but no solutions are ever offered. She gets upset and gets comfort from people at her church.

When I have tried to explain my feelings my Mum breaks down or my feelings aren't validated.

My issue is how to deal with my family on top of everything else.

I appreciate I'm a grown woman but hurts that they won't visit us or validate my feelings.

I got counselling but as I had to cancel to look after my son they cancelled it and put me back on the waiting list.

I'm trying to get someone who can do it over the phone..

Unfortunately, I'm unable to legally move as my son's Dad is here and due to Scots law I not allowed to move him awa even though I have main custody .

Have you asked for specific help, or is it a general feeling of they are not will to be physically present in your life?

I've asked them to visit for support and help with my son so I can get things done .

She does sound very much like my M, right down to getting attention from her friends at Church.

Will your DF come up without your DM?

And yes, my DD managed to get some GCSEs but god knows how, has just done a year in college and had a job. Completely different situation to this time last year when she could barely get out of bed.

Have you got a local ASD support group that you could talk to? And like I said, the SN Teen Section on MN is useful

My Dsd won't come without Mum as she is too scared to be left alone.

I'm genuinely pleased to hear that your daughter has massively improved.

I regularly call the autism helpline but not joined a group.

Thanks for your response