How do I deal with this

[LennyBalls]

I am absolutely distraught and some of you might say I'm over reacting but I can't cope with this.

Background - I am mid 50s and my entire life up until recently has been affected by my brother's scizophrenia due to smoking weed. It has robbed me of a relationship with my parents because their heads were so taken up with my brother and his mental illness.they had no time for me at all. I went through many life traumas without any support.

I have just found out tonight that my 21 year old son is smoking cannabis and I'm so scared he will go the same way as my brother. He has ADHD and sometimes has emotional breakdowns that I support him with.

Otherwise he is such a lovely caring empathetic person but I can't risk him going the same way as my brother as it has ruined my life up until now.

Does your son live with you, and does he work?

Yes he lives with us and yes he works. He was doing an apprenticeship but he failed his second exam three times so he cannot continue with apprenticeship. However he is an employee of the company and seems to be getting good feedback

Book an appointment with a doctor who will explain to DS about the dangers of smoking cannabis when you have a family history of Scizophrenia. The risks are too high.
Express concern, that you will not have cannibis in your home nor support him if he keeps on with it.
Help him find a program so he can quit.

You are right to be very alarmed.

I can totally understand you being very, very upset about this.

Is your DS taking any ADHD meds or does he have an ADHD Coach?

He is taking Elvanse for ADHD. No coach altho he has agreed to see a counsellor

Right firstly. Your brother's schizophrenia may not have been caused by weed

Secondly. I live in a country where weed is legal and a common treatment for ADHD

My own adult son has ADHD and has benefited greatly from weed rather than Ritalin etc which has horrible side effects

It is completely understandable that you feel the way you do. I would make sure your son understands there is a genetic history of schizophrenia and that schizophrenia can be affected by taking drugs. I'd take him to talk to the counsellor and maybe the doctor if he needs help to understand the risks. Is your son not coping with his ADHD? The drug use may be a signal that he's needing something more to cope and he needs support to find better ways.