Navigating new grad returning to family home - what's reasonable?

[RytonTarget]

Dd is about to graduate and return home after four years away at uni. She has a long term boyfriend at home who she has known since school (his parents also live locally) and ultimately their goal is to get a flat together but they both need to get a job and find their feet before this can happen. It's London so prices are high and finding something they can afford could realistically take a year or more.

What I don't want is him unofficially moving in with us in the mean time. I don't mind him staying over a couple of times a week but another mouth to feed several days a week is extra expense, the house is small (only one bathroom which is difficult enough to manage on work mornings) and while he's a lovely boy, I just don't feel as relaxed when he's here.

I'm after advice on setting some ground rules on how to navigate this. Anyone been through it and got some tips or advice on what's reasonable?

My DH spent a year living with me and my mum when we were engaged/newly married for similar reasons.

My best advice is talk to the boyfriend and daughter together, so that he doesn't feel awkward or pushed out. It may be that they have sensible suggestions to put in the table too.

It's reasonable to ask boyfriend to contribute to bills if he's a regular guest. Before my DH moved in, my mum expected food money for the days he stayed over. Which was paid even if we decided to go out to eat, because she had bought something in case we were in.

He also was asked to help with washing up if he stayed over. Or other small odd jobs. Can't help with the bathroom I'm afraid, we had an en-suite. (Disability adapted)

He wasn't seen as a guest.

They get on incredibly well now.

Put the rules you really want in to writing. For me it would be:

1. Your dd has to sign on and look for a job. She is an adult now and needs to understand you won't be keeping her.
2. A financial contribution (even if fairly small). £200 a month?
3. It is your home so boyfriend not to stay over more than once or twice a week.
4. Share the chores. Create a rota if necessary.

Making things clear up-front can save a lot of arguments later.

To add, it was DH who suggested he wash up and do odd jobs as he wasn't paying rent initially.