When do adult kids drift back

[WhatTheTroutingHeck]

I'm wondering whether adult children still tend to drift back towards their parents like my generation did? Many got married, had kids, then slowly relocated near where we grew up.

Does this still happen?

A lot of my friends gravitated back to our home city from London when they were having or planning to have children. That probably wouldn’t have happened if it was a small town though.

We aren't a small town but it's not the most exciting place. They now have the lure of international jobs though.

Both me, my brother and at least 5 of my friends have moved at least 2 hours away from our home town, now all between 40 and 50 and no plans to go back.

I’m nearly 50 and none of my sixth form friends moved back (or close) to our home town after having children. It’s nice enough, but we all had jobs elsewhere.

It probably depends on your career choices. If the options in your field are limited in your home town, you’re not going to move back, even if you’d like to. We all have to pay the bills plus life gets more expensive with children!

We're early 30s, none of our friends or siblings have moved back close to parents, but we know some parents that have moved closer to their adult children.

In my 50s. In our generation, everyone moved away (especially if they went to university) and never went back. Thank goodness.

I could see things changing if people are able to wfh most of the week, then you could live anywhere!

In my experience they are more likely to if there is the potential for some free childcare.

I don't think everyone feels the need to live close to their parents when they have children. My parents didn't and it never even occured to us to do so.

I don't know anyone in my friendship group that moved back near their family. Most of us live in different countries!

I am in my fifties, and I never really "drifted back" to where I grew up, unless you count moving back to the UK from overseas. Neither of my parents returned to where they grew up either. I don't really expect my dc to move back to where we live now... the world will be her oyster and I have no idea where she will end up.

My own parents moved to be near to me when dd was small. Dh and I would consider whether it was an option to move closer to wherever dd ends up, but we wouldn't expect her to end up near us.

Not many of my friends are living in or even near where they grew up, except some of those who grew up in London. So I'm not sure if it was ever really a thing for people to live away for a few years and then move back "home"?

So I'm not sure if it was ever really a thing for people to live away for a few years and then move back "home"?

I agree. My parents both moved quite far away from their birth places, and me and my siblings all live in different countries. We all live busy and fulfilling lives - I don't feel we're missing out on anything and we connect via Facet. I don't expect our children to move back to our home town - they should take advantage of all the opportunities out there.

*facetime

Actually thinking about it my parents both in their early 70s didn't go 'home' either. What generation are you referring to OP that did this?

It totally depends where home town is.

Surrey. Good chance if they can afford it

Lincoln. Depends if they can find work there

I moved back in early 30s after working abroad and in London. My closest 4 school friends also returned to the general area. We wouldn't have moved if it hadn't been commutable to London.

I guess it depends where you live?

My hometown is horrible and I'll never move back.

Some have now gravitated back to where we grew up now that we are close to retirement. It’s the Isle of Wight so always had a lot of retired folk. Lots of fab restaurants and quirky little independent shops, thriving arts scene and pretty.

But you get cancer you will be getting a boat to the mainland for treatment, also they helicopter some with major trauma to the mainland. It now costs almost £30 for a day return and it can be £180 for a car return, Islanders can get a discount or buy tickets in bulk. It’s rare for no boats to run but I did know someone who missed their own child’s wedding as all boats were cancelled in severe weather.

Also some other goods cost more as they need to be shipped over plus some companies do not deliver to the island.

Nothing would make me move back there.

same here, I dont want to be reminded of my childhood!

I live in the SE where we have excellent schools and a lovely area. Am pretty certain that 2 out of my 3 will live in the area again once they have the money to buy .
My other child is a bit of a wanderer so not sure where he will end up . Just want them all to be happy.
FWIW I wandered in many directions all over the world but ended up raising my family here as well.

Neither of mine 'drifted' back. They had to come back swiftly when financial circumstances dictated it. First DC via covid/furlough/job loss, second DC via landlord selling up. Where we live, rents are ridiculously stupid, so both back home with us, pronto.

We moved away because of affordability of living. If they want to live in the most expensive city, fine, but we had to look at how we could best get ahead. In the end, we drifted from a few hours away to a whole other country. Never going back.

I know people who never left, but none of the people who did leave have gone back as far as I know. I would never move back to my hometown because I don’t like it and it’s got nothing going for it.
My eldest has moved away from where we live now and I can’t see him coming back. I can see my mum moving away from our original town to be closer to us, but I don’t know what happens if I want to move to be nearer my son when (hopefully) I’m a grandparent. I think it’s more complicated than it used to be.

The people who never left, see them on the FB school re unions.
My 'rents moved away from home, but felt the need to make monthly pilgrimages to the mother land, all those boooooring weekends making me miss v v important socialising!

My parents left their hometown in their 30s. They never went back.

My brother and I left at 18 and we have never gone back.

My kids left their hometown at 18 and I'm not expecting them back.

Three different hometowns.