18 yo DS on a break

[Timeforanotheraliasnow]

My DS is 18 nearly 19. He finished college last year with decent grades but didn't want to go to uni. There was talk of apprenticeships after some time off. He got a zero hours job at a local hotel where he works between 8 & 30+ hours a week as required. The rest of the time he sleeps and plays online games. He sees nothing wrong with this and says it's not going to be for ever. He does help round the house when asked. I'm WFH so I'm in the house and his inactivity is driving me crazy! I don't want to force him into a job he hates just to get him out of the rut but surely this isn't right? How can I inspire him with some ambition?

Difficult if he hasn't got a real end game in sight. Has he looked for or applied for any apprenticeships? Is he still adamant that he's not going to Uni, which is fine of course.

Exactly the same here. He's just secured a job for 8 hours a week so he won't be asking me for money any more.
He is applying for full time jobs but just hasn't had any luck yet.
I too am getting a bit frustrated.

Start charging rent for a start. Something realistic. £100 PW? If he doesn't find some motivation he'll still be in his bedroom in his 40s. Time for him to spread his wings.

I do agree with Tel. He needs to start contributing. He's now an adult. It's fine not to know what you want to do but opting out of life isn't an option.

Start Charing him rent. Stop doing laundry and suggest a PT course for him to do that will show any future employers that he's interested in learning.

My DS did work FT last year at 18 but had a clear plan of where he was going, if he hadn't that would have been fine but he would have still been working FT and contributing.

I sure hope you aren't still doing things like laundry etc! And he should also be learning to cook a bit, budget, start saving. I personally wouldn't charge rent, but that would be in the idea he is working towards something.
18/19 is still so young. I'd sit him down in a non confrontational way and ask if he's got any ideas. But I really wouldn't be too pushy - but maybe have a time limit? Like he needs to have researched some courses/apprenticeships/jobs by the end of the year? Mind you if he is good at his job are there opportunities for progression at the hotel?

Thanks all, he does contribute to rent and he does housework like laundry & cleaning so not totally hopeless but that's not what I want for him, and much as I love him I don't intend to just keep him around the house, that's no life!

I should say he's also doing auditions for voice acting and making videos for his YouTube channel, no pay received of course. Maybe one day when he's accepting his Oscar I'll look back on this time and smile...

I'm glad he's doing some housework and some things he's interested in. Agree with having a non-confrontational chat with him. I've always found that they seem to have a better outcome of you're somewhere neutral like a coffee shop of in the car.