Dilemma over DD's Career Choice

[Kiki105]

My 20 year DD left college with low grades 2 years ago and has been flitting from one office job to another, and doing some occasional bar work. She hates working in an office - I totally get that having worked in offices all my life - and now she wants to train to do lashes from home and build up a beauty business. Here's the problem, I so want to support her idea but her bedroom is far too small to accommodate a beauty bed and impractical for her to take over any room downstairs, plus we have a reactive small dog who doesn't like strangers coming into the house.
She's having a right go at me saying I'm ruining her life, she's miserable, blah, blah, blah because I've said it will be totally impractical. If I had money, I'd get an outhouse for her. I've suggested she goes to clients houses but she doesn't want the added expense of driving everywhere.
How do I reason with a very unreasonable DD like mine. I spend most of my time saying no to her and slamming down on all her wants.
I just hate being the horrible mum all the time.

Tell her to come up with the accommodation solutions, costings, how she plans to pay for it, and you will be all ears.
She needs to start acting like an adult, not a petulant teenager.

Would she have an option to rent a table/room/space in an existing salon?

She's 20, not 12. Tell her to find herself premises. Client facing home based businesses come with some pretty large insurance bills and I guess she expects you to pay for them, too?

I'd be kicking her out fully for behaving like that, to be honest. She can find a flat and do what she wants there.

Go mobile? No need for premises and a draw for mums who can leave the kids to play safely rather than taking them to a salon.

Tell her to write business plan for her venture. She needs to cost everything so that she can charge her clients.

She sure does act like a 12 year old at times and thinks she knows it all and I know nothing.
I've asked her to come up with a written business plan but I doubt I'll see that.

Most nail techs are self employed and rent a chair in a nail bar if they don't have the space at home ?

Once she's actually trained as a lashes and nail tech she will know this.

Just tell her to get trained first she can worry about how the business works after

This is not your problem to sort.

By getting involved you are allowing her to blame you when she doesn't want to do stuff/it doesn't work out.

Oh well it was mum's fault because she didn't do whatever.

Step back. Let her sort it out.

If there isn't space then there isn't space and she will either have to rent space or go mobile.

She will work this out for herself.

Can she drive? Because then she can be a mobile one or as said above she could rent a chair in a salon.
Has she actually got the qualifications though. Surely she needs to do that (so back to college).
It's a good career to get into (the want for beauty never goes away) but she needs to do it properly - qualifications and insurance are what she needs before she can even begin.

She wants to sign up for a course she's seen. She has a car, but expects me to accommodate this business in my house because the girl that does her lashes runs her business from her bedroom so she thinks she can do the same. However my big concerns are the lack of space in her room and a reactive dog in the house.

I know, you're right - I need to step back and not argue this out with her and let her work it out for herself.

Check you deeds and your mortgage as you may not even be allowed to run a business from home. I wouldn’t want to come to someone’s house where a dog was barking to have a beauty treatment, much better for her to do it elsewhere.

Never mind the space, I wouldn’t want people traipsing through my house every day and going in one of the bedrooms. It’s a weird idea. They’d be using your toilet etc. She needs to find her own place.

I think you've shown remarkable restraint not firing her into the sun, tbh.

I'd be very clear that 'This is not practical. And frankly, if you're going to be rude to me about it perhaps we'd both be happier if you moved out entirely? I don't have the room to run a business from home. You'll need another plan once you are qualified'.

My neighbour does this and there are parking wars going on now, is there enough space for clients to park?

She has an adapted shed in her garden

A) going to a room not really fit to be a treatment room wouldn't be something I'd pay for

B) having a dog barking in the background would hugely devalue that idea

C) it will take her yonks to train, build a portfolio with freebie clients and then start with paying customers. When's her projection for this becoming a "job"?

D) No is a full sentence

This is one of those (actually quite rare) “No is a complete sentence” situations

@ClawedButler Believe me, I've considered it many times 😂

@Dollyparton3 I agree with all your points entirely.

It's good to know I'm not being unreasonable here.

Ask her to draw up a business plan for you to look at ( with no promises) , making sure that she covers things like business rates, insurance to cover client accidents in the house as well insurance for problems with the clients due to her work. Has she checked out restrictions for running a business from the house re the mortgage, covenants on the property, or local by laws .Has she looked into any problems with clients parking on the street or nearby?

How will she be managing accounts/ tax etc?

How will she be recompensing you for use of the property, wear and tear, heating and lighting, as well as the business expenses above.

if she isn’t willing to spend time drawing up a plan, or isn’t able to do so then she needs to start thinking of plan B.

Judging by the number of adverts on my local Facebook for such services I'd be surprised if the market isn't already saturated and she'd struggle to get any customers.

The local hair salon to me has people renting the beauty space - or she needs to go to clients houses. Far better she apprentices with a proper beautician at first