I have an adult son, as a child he was so loving & brought up well & with so much respect. I suffer with ptsd after losing my father.
condolences.
My son has never spent Xmas day with me for years
If he visits and calls often during the entire year...
You're not entitled to this.. Would be nice, but perhaps there are reasons why he doesn't. Perhaps he'd rather spend it with others... and maybe spending it with you would be too much on him. Perhaps it would adversely affect his mental health... especially if he's struggling as well.
always puts others before his mum.
In what way?? He sounds like he prioritizes you, perhaps just not in the order, in way you'd hope, in the manner you'd hope. He can prioritize others as well as you. He has other relationships in his life that need nurturing as well. Also, He should prioritize himself and overall, well-being first.
Xmas just gone my card was posted though my door on New Year’s Eve with money in it.
Perhaps he sent it on time, and it just arrived late... What is wrong with him gifting you money?
The verse on the card was in no way how he cares for me,
What did it say? What verse were you hoping for? He thought of you, sent you a card ( verse that wasn't to your liking) and gifted you. is that not showing he cares??
as he just dosnt careless especially with his new girlfriend.
He possibly does. You just are sharing him with others now, and maybe that's upsetting for you... because perhaps it was just the two of you primarily alone for some time. He has become an adult, branched out and is living his life... Perhaps you are suffering from "empty nest" syndrome as well.
I messaged him thanks for card but still no reply.
Did the message include other things, or was it a simple "Thank you'?. if it was just thank you... What reply were you hoping for?? Perhaps he was busy or just didn't feel like conversing with you at that time.
I’ve sat and thought about his behavior as I keep thinking what have I done too be treated like this.
Perhaps therapy would be beneficial and could bring clarity if you're truly unaware... of course, if he is in agreement, he could attend a session with you. Perhaps it could help the both of you.
When I do see him he has a go at me calling me & pulling me down.
How? What happens during these visits?
Telling me I’m an embarrassment too him.
Maybe therapy for the both of you could address this.. it may be some of your behaviors and actions.. Sometimes children see their parents as embarrassments , and are embarrassed by them.. Perhaps he thought you were cool growing up, and is feeling embarrassed some moments now.. Have you asked him what he means by this??
No I’ve thought this is narcissistic behaviour but now I’m thinking is this coercive control.
I need advice as this is making me sick he’s not the som I raised up alone & his new girlfriend is very ignorant.
How is she ignorant??
I cannot blame her for the way he’s treating me, but he’s definitely changed even for the worst since they’ve been together.
Worse how?? Do you define "the worse" as him not spending as much time with you as you'd like??
One day he said he’s got people watching me & call him when they see me.
Perhaps out of concern and worry?? Maybe he's very concerned about you not being well or something.. especially if you're primarily alone, and perhaps if you are a homebody.
Certainly not right this is controlling behaviour. Can someone relate too this