Depressed Adult Son

[gallgirl]

My 25 year old son lives at home. He has never kept a job longer than 2 months he is mostly unemployed but l know he wants to work. He lies in bed all day and night watching videos on his phone. He hasn't washed for months and his room is in a very bad state. If he goes out his clothes are un washed and he hasn't brushed his teeth. He still enjoys going to the pub occasionally with his friends I have found bottles of urine in his bedroom. He has stopped coming down to eat l have to bring food up to him. He is scared of my partner and won't come down at all when he is there. I have tried to persuade him to go to the doctors but he won't. I give him as much love and support but l don't know what to do now. Please can l get advice x

This must be absolutely heartbreaking for you. Can I ask why he's scared if your DP? Had something happened between them?

Is there a reason that he's not been able to keep a job? Has he been fired or has he walked out?

His depression sounds quite severe. Is he registered with a GP? I woukd calm them, tell them that you don't want them to tell you anything about your DS but you just want to make them aware of the state of his MH. I did this with DH when he had depression and they called him in under some pretence and were able to prescribe him medication which started him in the road to getting better.

This article from MIND on how to support family members might help too

My partner is emotionally abusive to both my son and l. But we can't afford to move out. He either leaves the jobs or gets laid off for making mistakes or not showing enthusiasm. Thank you for the advise l will call the doctors tomorrow

If you're both being abused I know it is difficult to move but you seem to be living a half life. Can you start another thread in the Relationship Section about how to get away from your "D"P?

If your DS constantly makes mistakes at work, has he ever been assessed for ADHD or ASD?

I hope the call to the GP goes well. I recently emailed my DA's GP about my concerns about her health and they've called her in and actually started investigating what might be wrong with her. So some GP's will listen, I hope your DS's does too

I think you should possibly get help. The emotional abuse is impacting your son. Try reaching out to refuge or other women's charities.

Emotional abuse is still abuse. And no one should have to deal with that. I believe they would also be able to support you financially, or atleast point you in the right direction.

Sending hugs x

I would imagine the GP would advise this is due to well-being ie, your current living situation. Have a little google of Maslow Hierachy of needs. The GP maybe able to help you.

Still, I understand it is no easy situation for you both x

Of course seek help from your gp for your son but you must also seek help from Women’s Aid op. I understand you have financial difficulties but you can’t stay with this man any longer as your living situation is probably impacting negatively on your son’s mh. He probably feels powerless to protect you and himself and feels very guilty about it. This sense of powerlessness is seeping in to other areas of his life.