Name changed for this one.
DS is 18 an in his 1st year ay Uni. For background, he has always been non communicative, moody & aggressive. When he was in infants he struggled at school & would get into fights, this got much better over time. He has friends at home and at Uni.
After he went to Uni, he really changed, he was much easier to talk to, was nicer & more pleasant to be around.....we were overjoyed, it felt we'd turned a corner. The Christmas holidays were mostly ok, but last week he put his brother in a headlock, his brother is 15. After some remonstrating, he sort of apologized, but was not remorseful in anyway. He has a history of bullying his younger sibling.
When challenged for doing things like this, he just runs away. He always comes back. We suspect that he has alexithymia and is possibly on the autism spectrum. We feel like we are walking on eggshells when he is home, he is moody and controlling. He is never remorseful, if he apologizes, it's never genuine or heartfelt in anyway.
I've tried so hard, & spent hours talking, trying to help him understand how he makes other people feel but to little avail. I feel like we've given him time to grow up, grow beyond teenage angst, but when his younger siblings are able to manage conflict & their feelings so much better, it does feel as though maybe I should just accept he not a nice person.
After the headlock incident, I asked him to leave & to go back to Uni. He did, but he hasn't contacted us & I know he wont. It feels as though he walks a tightrope with us, pushing us as far as he can without loosing our support completely.
What do I do, do I contact him? Do I leave him be? Please help.