Am I being petty about cooking?

[Whosaidthattt]

Two adult sons still living at home, ages 22 and 20. We all work full time. DH and I have weekends off, DSs are off in the week on different days to each other.
Neither of them will cook a family dinner on their days. Too busy or tired apparently.
Last week I stopped cooking for them. I've been cooking dinner for me and DH. One came home last night at 6pm asking what was for dinner. I said 'whatever you can be bothered to cook. We've eaten already.'
In the past, I would have been appalled at a mum doing this to her kids. I don't give a shit anymore. I'm not cooking for them if they won't do the same occasionally.
Am I-
A) Ridiculously petty
B) Right and should stick to this new set up?

B. Obviously you’re right.

They’re grown men and can contribute to the household by cooking dinner a whole one night a week.

Even my adult dc who don't live at home come and make tea once a week here!

B it's a life lesson they need otherwise they will become hardcore CFs.

In fact, I think you’ll find that the correct response in C. You should have done this years ago.

Blimey, once mine hit 16, if they wanted a hot meal and I hadn't cooked one, I told them they knew how to work an oven. Good parenting doesn't involve doing everything for them...quite the opposite. Step back, let them get on with it.

Definitely B. And most important this is enforced and normalised with boys. No option but to contribute

Why are you not allowed to be "too tired" on the day you work full time? Absolutely enforce it and they cook a family meal, they are adults, time to start acting like they are.

My sons were cooking a family meal at 16. Honestly, chicken pesto pasta is where they started.

I don't have an adventurous palate, and don't enjoy cooking.
I've obviously made sure my children were fed, but ds2 in particular has cooked more and more as he wants to eat different things.
There is only the 2 of us here atm, sometimes I cook for us both, sometimes he cooks for us both and sometimes we cook separately.
A few weeks ago we had a conversation during which I mentioned that I've felt a bit crap about how little I cook for him and his reply was he is happy and can cook, unlike most of his friends who have no idea and will have a shock when they move out. He is 17.

I vote B.

Does your DH cook for you?

Why is it cooking for the OP?

Even if he doesn’t, it doesn’t mean the OP’s sons shouldn’t share the cooking load. It probably means the DH needs to also be allocated a slot on the household cooking rota.

B. Obviously.
You all work full-time, you all take it in turns to cook once every 4 nights.

And please tell me that they do all their own laundry and help with housework?

I'm using OP's language. She wrote "I've been cooking dinner for me and DH"

And if her sons have never seen their dad cook, they might assume it's women's work.

Slothfully - You're right. They rarely 'see' their dad cook, although he does at weekends when they are at work, and they usually eat out with friends at weekends. I cook in the week as I'm home before DH (but often after DSs)...

One of mine is autistic and eats a very restricted diet and I got sick of eating beige with her & planning family meals around the beige / cooking 2 meals / fighting to increase food variety when she was about 11, so has cooked all her own meals (tbh it's the same thing every day pretty much) for the last 10 years. I don't think that makes me a terrible person. She does eat a bit more stuff now, but only when eating with friends so they don't realise she's weird. She's still fussy as with me.

My other daughter also often cooked for herself when she lived at home as she wanted meat and I don't eat or buy it.

Of course it is B. But I do appreciate it is a long ingrained habit for many women to cook for the family and it IS hard to break them. (i.e. me too!)

B in your scenario.
It would be nice if you all cooked for each other occasionally too, and they bought their own supplies.