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Parents of adult children

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Advise re 20yo son.

3 replies

Gin71 · 13/11/2023 15:36

Looking for advice regarding 20 yo son. He just seems to have very little motivation to do anything. He has a job which he gets up and goes to everyday and he enjoys but he spends nearly all his weekends in his room either in bed or talking to friends on computer. He doesn’t want to spend any time with his family and seems to have little interest in other people. He is somewhat socially awkward and will generally avoid coming downstairs if we have people round. He will be polite and say hello but that’s as far as it goes. When I ask him why he won’t join in or engage his answer is that he hates small talk. He doesn’t appear to be depressed as I hear him laughing and joking with friends on his computer and when I’ve talked to him about this he just says he’s happy as he is, being alone. Initially we thought this might be a post covid isolation thing but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better and I’m worried he will become a recluse. He has some aspirations in that he is saving for his own place - ‘so that he can be alone’ Advice please!

OP posts:
RedCoffeeCup · 13/11/2023 15:39

As he has a job that he gets up and goes to every day, I would leave him to it. Lots of young people these days choose to socialise online rather than face to face. It's hard for us oldies to understand, but he sounds happy OP.

Lizzbear · 15/11/2023 22:03

He sounds quite happy in himself. Most lads around that age aren't v sociable when people visit the house.
If he's going to work and says he's ok, I would just accept that he's who he is, and not worry about him
What are you specifically worried about?
Do you think he should be going out more?

Flyhigher · 16/11/2023 21:35

He probably does hate small talk. Lots of people do. My daughter does. Social media causes havoc. But then my sister was the same in the 1990's.
Can any small talk haters help us navigate this?
My daughter will chat to her friends on the phone. No problem. But if there's someone she doesn't know or has nothing in common with she will shut up shop. It's painful.

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