Board money for uni son who has decided to move back home

[ZebraD]

Just wondered peoples thoughts on financial contribution for son who has tried living in accommodation at his university but just a month in has decided he would rather commute and come home to live.
He will pay for some/most of his food and spend nights at his GF house. His GF will also have nights at my house.
Thoughts in this would be great. Thank you in advance.

I wouldn't expect anything while in full time education.

How much of his loan money will he need to buy a season ticket, his books and basic clothes?

Plus a little bit a week for socialising?

If he doesn't need to borrow so much, I'd keep him for free. Remember, whatever he pays you, he will then pay 6% on for years.

I wouldn't charge while in full time education either

Can he get out of his accommodation contract?
I wouldn’t charge for rent, but he should pay towards his food.

Just quickly - I am a single parent, I don’t know if that helps.

I lived at home and commented, worked part time also. I contributed £40 per week

I wouldn’t charge anything.

I wouldn't charge board when the board money is coming from a loan. Unless you'd have to take out a loan to cover the cost of housing him, paying a higher rate of interest than student loan is.

Hi OP, do your bills increase when he is there? If so, can you ask him to contribute the difference? Is he applying for and getting the full loan still - sorry it's been many years since I was at uni and my kids are a way off that yet).

My parents supported me when I was at uni and lived at home eg. Let me live there rent free and fed me but I worked part time to pay for travel etc (also loans weren't really the thing they are now).

If you need the money then charge him for electricity, water and food but the absolute minimum amount.

I don’t think people should charge their kids when they’re in FT education if they can help if but he will be eating the food and using the electricity so your bills will be higher and if you can’t afford them then you’ll have no choice but to charge him.

How much depends on how much more he uses compared to just you.

I wouldn't charge him rent from a student loan. I just would give him less of a parent contribution that you are meant to be paying him

Hmm, well, I would charge him a minimal rent, as in paying the extra it will cost in food, heating etc. especially if his girlfriend is planning to stay there too part-time. You do not owe them a subsidy to move back in.

How about when he stays at her place? Is she with her parents? Or already living independently? How are they working that out financially-wise?

Just a month into university accommodation and wanting to come home? Why? You need to get to the bottom of this.
Does he just need more time to settle in?

As a solo mum of a son who also went to uni and lived there, I would not be pleased about this at all. No way I would be having him and his girlfriend living with me.
Visit? Half terms, during holidays? Of course. Always welcome.
But the big wide world is beckoning now. Scary yes. Always has been. But it's life.

I am a single parent, I don’t know if that helps.

Oh, it sure does from where I'm standing. We've always done it all alone. Now comes time for YOU.

You need to gently help him to become independent and pick up your own child-free life again.
The door is always open but not for moving in with anyone extra.

Good luck OP.

He's not earning, op. Why would you charge him board?

If he was at uni on full student loan, say £10k, and spending say £5k on accommodation, then he would have £5k for the year for living/studies.
Living at home he gets £8.4k, so I guess to be in the same position as living away he could give you up to £3.4k.
That's assuming you are not supposed to be subsidising his loan as he gets max.

Personally I would just be asking for contribution to bills. Remember to tell council tax he is a student so you still get a 25% discount. What else is he costing you, really? And it doesn't sound like you rented his room out yet.

P.s. Just to clarify, if he is having severe emotional problems, being overwhelmed with the change in living (from with single mum to a huge difference at uni) then of course the door should always be open.

But maybe he needs time to adjust.

He's not earning, op. Why would you charge him board?

Well, depends on mum's income doesn't it?

Does it? She presumably supported him financially up to the age of 18. What's different now, apart from his ability to access a student loan?

I wouldn't charge him board whilst still in FT education but he would have to budget his student loan and any wages to cover all of his other costs including food.
I'd give him space in the fridge, freezer and cupboard.

I wouldn’t charge him while a student but be very clear that i will start charging as soon as he graduates

Does it? She presumably supported him financially up to the age of 18. What's different now, apart from his ability to access a student loan?

If he's getting full loan of around £10k, and has been paying rent for halls and buying all his own food, why should he go home and live for free? OP won't be getting child benefit anymore, plus her bills will go up when he's there, especially with his GF in tow.

Obviously because OP hasn't given all the details we don't know if he's on full loan or if she's been contributing, or if he can get out of his rental contract. Without all that info it's hard to say but I don't think he should be pocketing the difference while his mum struggles.

@StarlightLime when a child hits 18 and finished further education a parent will lose child benefit of £24 if the eldest child for a start. I am sure that it also affects some other benefits too.

Not everyone earns high wages, my SIL is childless, mid 40s and earns £24k. That would put any child she did have into the full loan of almost £10k category. She would therefore not be expected to support him financially as that is what the loan is for.

Whilst living away he would have been buying his food and his rent would have covered his gas, electric and water consumption so at the very least he should be contributing to any increased costs.

Yeah, probably this. Keep in mind that if he's living at home his student loan will be reduced, and if OP is earning enough then indeed student finance expect her to be giving her DS money.

He can pay for - and do! - half the grocery shopping.

She looses child benefit and any child related benefits.
Quite probably looses and child maintenance she was getting.

Does he get the full maintenance loan for living at home students OP?

What's happening with his university accommodation?

The OP may well have been receiving CM from her DSs father which stopped when he turned 18. Lots of fathers do this. She would also have stopped receiving child benefit.