Ignored

[Annie1955]

I managed to burn my foot quite badly with a kettle of boiling water a week ago. I messaged my daughter who lives abroad. apart from others, and as yet I've heard absolutely nothing from her. I feel hurt by this as it makes me feel she doesn't care. Any thoughts on this. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself as I'm stuck at home and have been told not to walk on it but I feel so hurt by this.

I agree but she doesn't seem to want to talk, so confused

I tried to check in on her calling via WhatsApp and she didn't answer although I noticed that after I stopped the ringing she went online I am presuming to see who was calling but did not call me back and hasn't up to this point.

Give it a week or two, then message her and just send a little "hi xxx are you okay? Just a bit worried I've not heard from you!"

I get like this sometimes, my mum texts my husband thinking I'm dead 9 times out of 10.

I would back off a little OP. Chasing and asking if she is ok is obviously not what she wants right now.

Hopefully a little time will make her realise how unkind she is being.

Has this sort of distant behaviour happened before?

How many times have you chased her up OP?

Could she have some difficulties in her life at the moment?

I'm sorry you hurt your foot, I hope you're ok.

I must admit I wasn't very kind to my own mum a few months ago. I was in a terrible place, my husband was very unwell and it was looking that he may need to be forcibly hospitalised, I was trying to survive hour by hour without having a panic attack, and my mum sent me a long message about her painful broken toenail. I just couldn't respond, I couldnt find any reserves within me that week to give anybody else any sympathy.

Hope your foot is healing properly.

Hopefully your daughter is okay.

If you two have a good relationship, perhaps it isn't her logging into her accounts. Lost phone, someone she knows, or perhaps it's her husband doing these things...

Maybe she isn't even aware...or perhaps she is but is in a controlling abusive relationship...perhaps he's trying to isolate her.

Anything could have happened.
Perhaps she is sick or hospitalized.

Perhaps busy, stressed, depressed, etc...

If you two don't have a good relationship....that may be the reason why you're being ignored.

Hope she's okay.

Up until a couple of years ago I thought we did have a good relationship but has been changing slowly. It's not her husband I'm sure as he is such a lovely soul. She not in hospital etc or phone issues. I'm in touch with her husbands family as they are in UK so would know as her husband is in contact with his family.

I got covid for two weeks at beginning of August and she messaged me every day so no idea why she's not even acknowledged I've had an injury this time. She seems to just be ignoring my messages completely but still had time to wish her father in law good luck for something last week on our family group chat so I guess that hurt even more, so confused and feeling worthless at the moment.

You’ve posted about your daughter quite a bit before, haven’t you?

I suspect there are bigger issues in your relationship than her not responding to your messages now.

My mother can be a little intense / demanding and I’ve sometimes had to mute her to try and get a bit of space. I’m not saying that’s what is going on here, but could you try backing off for a couple of weeks and then get in contact with a few lighthearted / low pressure messages?