Daughter called police after a rowing

MadMum7 · 2023-10-24T15:10:21+00:00

So a bit of background information I have 7 children 28,26,23,20,18,15 and 9! So 20 and 23 have had a disagreement….haven’t been talking for almost a year but still live in my house which is extremely uncomfortable…. Lat nigh while I wasn’t home they’ve started calling each other names and shouting at one another 20 gets very annoyed if I’m mentioning in a negative way! So 23 calls police there was no violence just name calling! What do I do now has anyone got any advice please help me I feel so lost and broken 😞

INeedAnotherName · 24/10/2023 16:21

Start laying some effective ground rules and state if they won't abide by them they need to leave. That means a full family meeting, a discussion, then you say what will be happening going forward. If they haven't been talking for a year then something bad has happened, why is it still unresolved?

Original poster

MadMum7 · 24/10/2023 16:28

Because I just don’t know what to do! They had an argument over something stupid and I thought they would sort it out! Im trying so hard not to take sides and I just feel like I’m in the middle and whatever I say I’m taking sides!

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AutumnCrow · 24/10/2023 16:31

What did the Police do?

You left it rather on a cliff hanger there.

Leggytigberk · 24/10/2023 16:43

My suggestion is that you OP do very little.
You tell them an argument that gets so out of control will not be allowed.
Insist they sort it themselves. You do not debate it with them. I think that is the best way of remaining independent.
You might explain if the nipper was worried or upset. As they are adults it is up to them to reassure the youngest that it will not happen again.

Dartmoorcheffy · 24/10/2023 16:45

Tell them to move out into their own places so others can live in a happy atmosphere

Theunamedcat · 24/10/2023 16:45

Are they in your home?

Myfabby · 24/10/2023 17:00

Theunamedcat · 24/10/2023 16:45

Are they in your home?

literally line 3 of the OP

Haven’t been talking for almost a year but still live in my house which is extremely uncomfortable…

Original poster

MadMum7 · 24/10/2023 17:05

Nothing! Just a sibling row name calling and shouting so they said if it happens again they’ll come back!!

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Original poster

MadMum7 · 24/10/2023 17:06

Yes they are!

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LakeTiticaca · 24/10/2023 17:06

Give them both their marching orders

Kyokyo · 24/10/2023 17:06

Tell them that their negativity towards each other is affecting the whole household and the fact that a year on, they still haven’t gotten over a silly disagreement is ridiculous. They either make up or they both move out as it’s unfair on everyone else living there.

Original poster

MadMum7 · 24/10/2023 17:09

This is my thoughts I can’t kick one out without the other so they both have to go! I suppose I just wanted clarification that I’m doing the right thing thank you

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FannyBawz · 24/10/2023 17:11

Why are you raising your other kids with this? Kick em both out.

UndercoverCop · 24/10/2023 17:13

Why are they not talking what was the falling out about?
This would probably influence my feelings on who is being unreasonable, it must've been something really serious for siblings who live together to not speak for a year and for them clearly to still be angry.

welcometothnuthouse · 24/10/2023 17:17

My eldest dd was like this with her sblings and me she had to move out. I wasn't prepared to put up her tantrums, moodiness and silent treatment to everyone.But as soon as she was in her room all gushy to her bf.

JellyMops · 24/10/2023 17:19

How about telling them both to grow up and stop creating drama over nothing. They sound extremely boring.

Starlightstarbright2 · 24/10/2023 17:25

You sit them both down tell them the line has been well and truly crossed - they don’t need to be best friends but respectful of each other. If this doesn’t happen they both need to leave … and mean it.

EvenBetta · 24/10/2023 17:28

Tell them they’re both embarrassments and they need to be out of your house by [x] date. Clogging up the emergency services phone line to indulge in their theatrics in pathetic and unjustifiable. Making your other kids live in such a tense environment is unfair. They can go and live their adult lives.

heartsinvisiblefury · 24/10/2023 21:37

EvenBetta · 24/10/2023 17:28

Tell them they’re both embarrassments and they need to be out of your house by [x] date. Clogging up the emergency services phone line to indulge in their theatrics in pathetic and unjustifiable. Making your other kids live in such a tense environment is unfair. They can go and live their adult lives.

Couldn't agree more with this. What a ridiculous waste of police resources.

Millybob · 24/10/2023 21:43

I'm very disappointed that the police didn't wipe the floor with them for time-wasting.
It's high time the four oldest left home.

UsingChangeofName · 24/10/2023 21:57

EvenBetta · 24/10/2023 17:28

Tell them they’re both embarrassments and they need to be out of your house by [x] date. Clogging up the emergency services phone line to indulge in their theatrics in pathetic and unjustifiable. Making your other kids live in such a tense environment is unfair. They can go and live their adult lives.

This.

Caller like this should be charged with wasting police time.

Original poster

MadMum7 · 24/10/2023 22:47

Yeah I understand the confusion over the start of it but I am only trying to do what’s best for everyone and didn’t want to see my children on the streets easy to say that they should’ve moved out by now but getting a place and a stable job to afford it isn’t always easy! But I agree it was a waste of police time and they both need to grow up and move out!

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Original poster

MadMum7 · 24/10/2023 22:53

I’m not sure 100%
sure if I’m honest! They had a row and haven’t spoken to one another since it was over something very stupid from what I can remember but I think it maybe a build up of may things!! 20 hasn’t had anything to do with his Dad for 5years but he still speaks to the others and he’s a big influence to 23! So I can’t give much information about how or why it happened in the first place

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 28/10/2023 12:19

Kyokyo · 24/10/2023 17:06

Tell them that their negativity towards each other is affecting the whole household and the fact that a year on, they still haven’t gotten over a silly disagreement is ridiculous. They either make up or they both move out as it’s unfair on everyone else living there.

This is exactly what I'd do. Sit them both down together and tell them that they've got to make their relationship work again or both move out.

That it's very awkward for everyone else in the house and you've had enough. They are adults now and need to negotiate this as adults.

crumblingschools · 28/10/2023 12:24

Is dad still with you, if not can 23yo live with them?