Worried about DD20 and lack of friends.

[Sunshine5432]

My DD is 20 and at college (part-time). She admits she struggles to make friends and is often in tears as she has zero social life and is always at home. She has severe anxiety which makes things all the more difficult.. Are there any parents with YA with similar concerns? I’d love to know if there are any groups/clubs in the SE London area that would be suitable. Something maybe outdoors and v casual, which she could possibly cope with. Or if any parents wanted to DM me to maybe start some sort of group, if they have young adults in the same situation, that would be great.

So sorry to hear that Sunshine. I have a 19-year-old in a very similar situation and it is a huge worry. I'd also love to know if there are any other parents out there who have experience with encouraging their adult DC to join some sort of friendship groups. Sending big hugs.

CBT for social anxiety might help her a lot. She can self- refer online to her local IAPT service

Thanks NnarcissaMalfoy. That’s a great idea and something I haven’t thought about before.

I'm bumping this, as I know from reading previous threads that a lot of us with YA are in a similar situation.

Have you looked at Meet Up? You can filter by place and interest, there could be something in there for her that you could both go to if she's feeling a bit nervous to start with. Also, what about volunteering opportunities with outdoor type groups - would that interest her? Scouts, Dog Trust, Riding for the Disabled, that kind of thing where she could meet like minded people but the focus is on the activity rather than making friends iykwim?

That’s handy to know, I’ve not heard of Meet Up. Will definitely give it a try, thanks.

Good luck - I know how difficult it is and I hope she finds something. It's horrible to see them feeling lonely.

What are her interests? I think the easiest way to meet people that you're most likely to click with is through a shared interest. That and working in a job where there is a social aspect.

Also done CBT for anxiety.

I always tell my DC that it's not about having lots of friends but having good, reliable friends.

Definitely agree with you DreamItDolt about getting a job. I’ve been trying to persuade her to get something part-time or do some volunteering but her confidence is so low that she won’t try. It’s a vicious circle.