Reasonable time for 21 year old have partner staying over

[Whatshouldmynamebe321]

Hello, I'm interested to hear others views on partners sleeping over?
I'm on the fence feeling...they're adults and should be able to spend as much time together as they like. But on the other hand, this is our family home and priveleges of spending every moment with your partner don't come until you move out and become independent???

Keen to hear others views I'm sure there will be a mixed opinion.

My partner stayed over quite often, but then I was older and had to move back in with my dad after having to sell my house. Do you like the partner? How often are they staying?

Mine moved in with me at my parents for a year whilst saving a house deposit. It’s up you what you are comfortable with though. If you restrict it they may get their own place sooner which you may or may not want?

Quite a common rule of thumb in houseshares is guests for no more nights per week than the actual resident is away.

But I suspect that wouldn't suit you if you would like some time with your 21 year old.

What is it that you don't like about them staying over?

When DH and I were young we'd stay over at each other's homes on Friday and Saturday nights. It was back to our own family homes for the rest of the week. To me that seems reasonable.

We lived close enough to still visit each other during the week but without staying over.

For some reason I'd find having a guest stay over during the week when everyone is getting up and ready for school/work etc rather intrusive.

If they want to live together then they get their own place and save up to achieve that.

As Lindy says I do feel uncomfortable having a guest in the home all the time. Occasional stays are fine, but too much and I start to feel frustrated and that my personal space is invaded.

I think I would be more accepting if as a couple they were saving for a deposit. But neither of them are in a position to do so and I feel the less comfortable they are there is more chance they will get some drive to save and move out if that makes sense?

I'm pretty relaxed - my dd and her bf split their time between our house and his, so usually here 3/4 nights a week x

Sorry just seen this is an older post 😳

My DD is away at uni, but when here, they split their weekends between his family home and here. I don't mind, he's a nice lad and very respectful. They both work all week so only see each other Friday to Sunday anyway.

We've just come to the end of DD's bf staying with us for 2.5 months. Nice as he is, I was very glad to wave them both back off to university. Home is more relaxed again.