I'm struggling so much to let go. My DD is 18 now and has just finished school - but the past couple of years have been hard. A diagnosis of ADHD together with some other things that seem to go hand in hand with it - such as issues around food, constantly eating, noise sensativity and some anxiety. She seems to be struggling more than ever just as she is about to go off into the world. She still seems to "need" me quite a lot for re-assurance, guidance and to offload to.
What I'm struggling with is coming to terms with the fact that she needs to go off into the world and she will be who she will be. That I can't really influence the person she is growing into anymore. Being available to help with what she needs, but not letting it consume me. I think I have probably been what is referred to as a helicopter parent, as an only child I always wanted to be there for her, but now feel like I am probably over involved as a parent should be for an 18 year old. If she has an upset, or a problem, or exhibits a behaviour that isn't perhaps what I would have liked, I am finding I am letting it subsume me and I can't stop dwelling about things.
She's had a bit of a run of it lately, A levels results coming up, a change in direction after an apprenticeship didn't go to plan, and I'm finding she is all I can think about, trying to make sure she chooses the right path in life, hoping her issues don't continue to increase and keep affecting her life negatively (as it has done quite a lot). It is making me feel yuk.
Any advice? I am pretty sure how I am feeling is not normal, and I don't want my behaviour and feelings to adversely affect her.