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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Original poster

ADHD

4 replies

homeitisthen · 23/07/2023 17:55

My daughter is in her 20s and been told after many appointments with various people
She has ADHD
Least she has answers to why she the way she is
I was upset for her
But upset again when she threw it in my face that it was my fault ? And her dad ?
We separated at age 1
Not sure how she ment that was it cos of our genes or cos we separated
I don't have ADHD
No idea for her dad most possible

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 28/07/2023 16:59

Have you had chance to ask her why she thinks it's your fault?

Is she considering taking meds or getting some ADHD coaching?

SageMist · 29/07/2023 10:57

My dd was diagnosed with ADHD while at uni. It made all the difference to her, now she had an explanation for her inability to concentrate. Medication helped with that, my DH calls it her superpower and DD has just got a first class honours degree.
We think that probably DH has it too, though has learned coping mechanisms over the years, and he is a very successful IT architect. So this isn't a bad thing, just a different way of life. Your DD probably thinks it's the end of her world, but it isn't.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 29/07/2023 11:10

SageMist · 29/07/2023 10:57

My dd was diagnosed with ADHD while at uni. It made all the difference to her, now she had an explanation for her inability to concentrate. Medication helped with that, my DH calls it her superpower and DD has just got a first class honours degree.
We think that probably DH has it too, though has learned coping mechanisms over the years, and he is a very successful IT architect. So this isn't a bad thing, just a different way of life. Your DD probably thinks it's the end of her world, but it isn't.

That is so good to hear. DC1 was diagnosed earlier in the year and starts Uni soon. I've been so worried but I'm glad to see that your DD has coped so well.

OP is she happy with her diagnosis? It's only after reading why my DC1 might be struggling so much that I realise that I probably have ADHD too.

Wish I'd know at your DD's age and been able to access Meds and Counselling.

I'd try and see if you can get her to see the diagnosis as a positive thing. Now she can gain understanding for herself and support Flowers

redmapleleaves1 · 29/07/2023 15:58

My son, 21, has ADHD too, diagnosed about a year ago. I had been really worried for years, but since diagnosis - and getting older - it has made a big difference for him. In the last year he has started university, is managing fine there and a few months he has started an online business, which is thriving, but he has said how great that is for his adhd brain. Tasks involved are small and concrete, visible on the platform, and when he implements changes he sees results. Each sale gives a dopamine hit. Looking at the figures helps him track progress and recognise the difference he makes. Feels much better about himself. I hadn't really understood how ground down he had been by the struggles and feeling measured to standards he felt he couldn't keep.
Just wanted to say it can be really hard as a parent, but wanted to share his turnaround which has been major. Big part of it I think is just being older, and seeing the consequences of not doing things when away (like importance of remembering to buy the toilet roll). Good luck OP.

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