How much time do you spend with your young adult children?

[JaneFondue]

Just curious to know. I have 2 at uni. One is living at home, and the other has moved out but still in the same city.

It's feast or famine with DD(18). She's planning on going to uni in the autumn so has a long summer off but it's filled with work and plans with friends.

I can get her to spend time with me if we go out for a coffee. Sometimes she'll even suggest it!

Oh I hate it when people quote the OP and I've just gone and done it!

Mine are 18 and 22 and both live at home. 18 yo has just finished college and plans to work next year. She has (will have) a qualification and currently gets occasional work linked to it. Main aim in life atm though is socialising so she's out a lot or has friends over. So very little planned time together, not even meals at the same time.

Oldest works shifts so is in / out at all different times, plus away at bfs who is long distance or out at frequent gigs, so not much planned time together either.

They're like demanding lodgers (for lifts etc) but without paying any rent or housekeeping. We dont mind!

Mine are 18 & 21. The younger one I rarely see as he's normally gaming in his bedroom between meals though we occasionally watch a movie or some sport together.

DD is more sociable (when her boyfriend isn't here too) and will generally hang out with us or chat whilst one of us is preparing food.

As much as they'll let me! Two have left home, I see them reasonably often. I might pop in at the weekend (I always call first to check it's convenient, of course) or we'll meet for coffee, or they'll come home for a few hours if they feel like some family time. Occasionally we'll go out for dinner as a family, which is nice. One of them calls for a chat quite often, the other less so but he's less sociable by nature.

Youngest still lives at home and while he likes his own space he seems to enjoy hanging out with me and DH.

Ds1 I speak to by text weekly. Sometimes a bit more (if he wants something) sometimes less.

Ds2 once a week pops in. Texts daily or sends me funny videos etc.

Ds3 is at uni but home for summer. Likes me to be at home but stays upstairs. Spanish Inquisition if I want to go out/ likes exact timings. Is HFA and lives a very structured routines life. And so do I by default. Rarely goes out.

Quite a variation!

Not as much as I would like! I see her in person about every 2-3 weeks. We text most days and have the occasional video call.

DS (19) finished his first year at Uni early May. Don't see a huge amount of him - he's either at work, at his girlfriends or out with mates. When he is here, he's practically nocturnal.

It's nice having him home, but it's like having a messy none paying lodger. Very different dynamic now he's used to being at Uni

My 22 year old is also back after Uni (& I agree with the untidy, non paying lodger comments! ). He did that classic student thing today of cooking his own brunch and then washing up .... but ignoring a couple of mugs and other bits of family washing up - not a huge amount .
But generally he is pretty good company, we always eat together unless he is working & he plays golf with DH & they watch sport on tv together. He will also visit my elderly DM & take her out for lunch which she loves.
Just to state - he is working part time in a pub & will be expected to contribute 'board' when he starts full time work.

What about you, OP?

One ( the one at home) is completely nocturnal, and her day time is filled with uni work or out with new friends. The other is doing a very punishing course and working part time, so not much time with him either.

I have put my energy into making some new friends of my own!

A lot more if we pay for nice treats I find!

More than my parents did me, but that isn’t saying a great deal.

Oh yes, I didn't spend any time with my parents as a young adult, but that;s because back then there was not much spare money and barely anywhere to go, plus we had different interests and a generation gap, which is narrower these days, I think.