Tell me to stop worrying.

[RealTigers]

Hello all, firstly let me say that I’ve never mentioned this to DS (20).

So. DS was very ill (physically and then mentally) up until he was about 15. At that point he was able to get out more but he’s slowly built up his stamina and has a group of friends now, plays sports, has gone abroad etc.
He had a little girlfriend around 15 but very innocent and I don’t think there was anything physical at all (ie kissing).
It’s taken some time for him to recover from his mental health issues.

He’s a great kid and considering what he’s been through he’s well adjusted and of course we love him and think he’s fab. Years of physical and mental therapy have helped him too.

I do now find myself worrying for him that he’s never had a proper relationship with someone. He’s been on two dates and said he wasn’t interested enough to continue with them. He also says it would take someone unique to put up with his need for time to himself and so on.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this but I suppose I’m looking for people to say ‘it’ll be ok and he’ll find someone’.
Do you think that will happen? Or should I somehow be trying to push him on this? I’m a bit lost.

Stop worrying. He will find his way, he's still young. You don't need to put any pressure on him.

He’s twenty! Loads of twenty year olds haven’t had relationships yet, even ones who haven’t had the added stresses of being unwell. It sounds like he has his head screwed on. He’s focusing on himself, his friends and sports…plenty of time for relationships.

Trust me no relationships is better than disastrous ones. My adult ds now 28 has spent 3 years rebuilding his mh after getting mixed up with a fruit cake. No mh issues she was just abusive....

Thanks everyone. I know this and DH says same. I think I need to come out of worry mode now.

@Thunderisntnicebythebeach really sorry to hear about your son. It’s hard to watch isn’t it.

He'll be absolutely fine! Honestly, you're worrying about nothing. He's got a group of friends, which is really great. It's far better that he meets someone when he's in a really good place - it sounds as though he's doing really well now.