I've just spent easter with my 33 yr old DS. Diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia 7 yrs ago, after 18 months of initial treatment with an early psychosis team, and I'm feeling broken. He's never going to get better is he? this is it now. This is the legacy I will leave to his siblings, having to deal with a brother who will sit and talk to his voices, the very important people who communicate with him psychically, who affirm that he is the saviour of mankind.
He has a MH team, they are great. He is on an injected monthly medication, but its not removing the delusions. There is a medication that might address that - but it requires the patient being willing to take daily tablets, he won't.
We've just come through a crisis couple of months where he insisted his meds were reduced - and he spiralled downwards. Fortunately he accepted that he needed to up them again as every friend and family member told him he was not making sense. His partner, who is lovely, and has her own MH demons so understands, has cut off contact to protect herself. We had hopes that his relationship with her would pull him back into the real world, but instead he was pulling her into his - and she rightly resisted.
I'm torn between sadness at how unfair this is, he was so smart, funny, engaged, with so much potential, and anger at him for the cannabis use as a teenager that I didn't know about (stupid me, thought he was too smart to be dragged into that) and anger at his ex partner who introduced him to stronger drugs that have fried his brain, and him for not being stronger in refusing to engage with that. His siblings focus all their anger on the ex partner, I know it's not that simple.
They say that as a mother you are only ever as happy as your least happy child. Fuck. that's it then.