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Original poster

She says she's 'moving out'

31 replies

mamnotmum · 13/03/2023 17:02

DD - 20 - has had 6 jobs since leaving school. The most recent one lasted 3 weeks. She just doesn't go / rings in sick.

She sleeps at her boyfriends' mams (boyfriend doesn't have own house, has inconsistent employment, a child with his ex and some debt) every night. She comes 'home' 3-4 times a week. Does her laundry, has long soaks in the bath, often sleeps the day away and then raids the fridge and off she goes again.

We've explained before that this wasn't a lifestyle we supported and asked her to sort it out. Basically we were told we were a joke, stop nagging, she's an adult, who did we think we are and so on.

She hasn't been home most of the weekend other than to collect clothes for nights out. We text her today and told her to take us seriously, have a little respect and please apply for a job this week or she wouldn't be able to continue using the house as she does. She replied saying get my suitcase out the attic I don't want to be around you ridiculous people anyway.

I feel so defeated and sad. I know I can't let her continue the way things are but I'm scared of how her life will be now Confused

OP posts:
Clementineorsatsuma · 23/04/2023 09:10

Lovelyveg82 · 13/03/2023 17:06

Op… she’s not going to her a job.

So you need to be encouraging some kind of study / qualification

At 20? If she has no health needs then I think with the way she speaks to her parents then the parents 'need' to be supporting the move out! See what she does when the boyfriend's parents have had enough of her.

berksandbeyond · 23/04/2023 09:12

The people saying it’ll work out eventually? It might not. My guess is she’ll be pregnant within a few months and then she’ll keep having children every few years to avoid having to work

Birchtrees · 23/04/2023 09:22

mamnotmum · 13/03/2023 19:45

Thanks. I don't think I'll be pleading, I would rather her not live her if this is how she wants to live and if the respect for us is so low.

But that's a good idea to only communicate when I'm in a good place. Thank you.

Show quote history

This is really good advice

blahblahblah1654 · 23/04/2023 09:23

Any updates @mamnotmum?

LadyKenya · 23/04/2023 09:33

berksandbeyond · 23/04/2023 09:12

The people saying it’ll work out eventually? It might not. My guess is she’ll be pregnant within a few months and then she’ll keep having children every few years to avoid having to work

This is not a game of guess the outcome. This is a young woman who for whatever reason is finding life difficult at the moment. Hopefully for herself she will not wind up as you have guessed she will.

berksandbeyond · 23/04/2023 09:47

LadyKenya · 23/04/2023 09:33

This is not a game of guess the outcome. This is a young woman who for whatever reason is finding life difficult at the moment. Hopefully for herself she will not wind up as you have guessed she will.

Show quote history

I agree it’s not a game, which is why I disagree with all the people who seem to be predicting it’ll all work out okay in the end!

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