Paying your way

[crazylady121]

Am I being unreasonable.My daughter is now 30.She came home after flat fell through but doesn't contribute financially.My other daughter contributes more and isn't even working.My 30 year old helps herself to our clothes and toiletries.She also shares my bedroom so I have no own space.I'm about to tell her it's time to move out.Life doesn't come for free.Just like others opinions please.

Of course you aren’t being unreasonable.

why is she sharing your room? Is there no sofa?

You are not being unreasonable. She's 30. Set some boundaries and expectations otherwise she'll continue to assume and use whatever you allow her too. Help her find a rental at least.

OP you say your daughter shares your bedroom - you mean your bed? Then clearly this can’t continue, your place isn’t big enough for her to stay.

Sit down and say that you had her stay when her flat fell through like any parent would, but she needs to make long term plans to move out now, as your house simply isn’t big enough. Additionally, as of 1 Jan, BOTH daughters will be paying you board money, adjusted according to income (so different amounts for each daughter). Also, they need to help with cooking and cleaning, so one night each week each daughter should cook, and assign a household job to each - vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom whatever.

Her taking your things should be addressed separately, under being respectful to you. But you need to get some ground rules sorted immediately.

She shares my bed and doesn't consider that I'm asleep when she comes in godly hour.Doesn't contribute towards food or utilities.If I've got washing in machine ,she will leave on floor to put hers in.My other daughter buys herself toiletries and perfume and she helps herself to it.My youngest won't say anything as doesn't want confrontation.My 30 yr old is hard to talk to without dramatics and emotional outbursts.

Just to add ,she earns over £2000 monthly

Then, as I said above, as of 1 Jan both daughter pay board, adjusted in accordance with what they earn, and you can give her a 2 month notice period (or whatever time is fair, considering how difficult it is to find somewhere to rent where you are).

Job done

What?! She’s got to go.

Really weird that you would consider throwing her out rather then having an adult conversation about finances

With £2000 get her moved out what a ridiculous situation but more fool you for allowing it That's just madness

I would accept this as a short term thing but clearly time to move out.
Tell her she has a month (or whatever) and is sleeping on the sofa from tonight. Being uncomfortable will hopefully focus her mind on moving out

We've had several conversations about finance but she doesn't change.She's been working since 16 and in that time I've prob had 6 months keep.Yes I'm too soft and she's taking advantage.

Thank you all for your opinions.No matter how old your daughter,no Mum wants to throw them out.Your opinions made me see,I had nothing to feel guilty about.Anyhow,end to the tale,my daughter should be moving out over next few months.Be lovely to have my own space again😊