Everything getting on top of me

[Mumtothreeandadog]

So DC are 20 and 18, obviously preparing to leave the nest. Everything is getting on top of me.... DH has always let it go over his head, which means i have always ended up with all the mental load. I am in a constant state of worry about DC as they start to leave the nest and feel very alone and like an inadequate mum. It doesn't help with my sister in law having "perfect" children... I know I shouldn't let her wind me up but it does. As I say can't talk to DH as he simply does not listen, all he does is work or sleep. I am grateful for him supporting us financially but am feeling all alone. Don't feel like I can talk to anyone in RL

Don't be hard on yourself, if your children are getting ready to leave the nest, then they're ready, I'm pretty sure they too, are perfect, (who is, really?). Can understand how you're feeling all you can do is be sure they are aware to be safe without scaring them. Exciting times ahead for them, just breathe! 🥰

I am dreading the DC leaving. I will miss their company as all DH does is sleep and work. I've done everything for the DC

I know what you mean. I cried buckets when each of mine went off to uni. But, it gets better. They are in their thirties now. One lives close by and we see them regularly and the other, although further away, visits or we go to visit them. You'll get through this, even though it seems hard right now.

It's not just the thought of them leaving it is spending the next 20 + years with DH !

You don't have to though! Now is a perfect time to talk to your DH, and if things don't change for the better then leave. Life is too short to be miserable!

DH won't change and not as simple as leaving him.

Aww OP, I get it. My two are 21 & 19, 21 year old will be leaving home, possibly next year. I am finding that difficult to think about too, we are such a close family. DS2 has no plans to leave atm, but obviously when he meets the right GF his life will move on, as it should. Change is often hard, I also worry over my two all the time and DH is an even worse worrier over them!

I am thinking this Christmas may be our last as a family of four, I know times change, but it isn’t easy, when all you have known for so many years is being together as a family unit.

I am fine with eventually just being us two again though. We were together over 10 years before we started our family. He still makes me laugh every single day, we do get on really well.

@Candlemas thank you for giving me some hope, lovely post.

Hi So you read much? Maybe if you get a book on the subject it could stir these emotions up and you will have the answers to deal with them or come up with some of your own.