Thread 43 - GCSE Covid Cohort ..November 22 Remember Remember

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

Previous Thread

Train strikes might also affect people going back in January. Glad now that DD bought an Open Return in case things change again.

She had a minor wobble yesterday, felt a panic attack coming on (the first one since starting uni) but dealt with it fine (excused herself from the class she was in, headed home, calmed down with a friend). That's pretty good. Also she's been spending lots of time finally putting the story she's been writing in her head for a couple of years down on paper (or at least in a computer).

Meanwhile, the illustrators have all been following students in other faculties for a couple of days. Here's a draft of what will be a 'shadow box' showing the nursing students at work!

Have you tried Megabus?

Sigh will have to warn DS about strikes and get him to try and book a coach ticket back on the 16th. All seems to be ok, I am leaving the accommodation thing for him to sort out now.

Train strikes won’t affect us as we’re picking DD up, and that won’t be until the 20th. However she’s hatching a plan to go to Edinburgh with a friend between term ending and us picking her up, so it might affect that plan ☹️

DD is coming home today for a long weekend. I hope we will be able to at least come up with a plan of some sort for the future. I think she really wants to finish this semester if she can. Beyond that I don't know....

Good luck @Seeline i hope you can get to the bottom of things between you and work out the best next steps. Life isn’t a race and if she needs to take some time out, so be it.

Dd just rang about houses. The one they wanted got snapped up. Impressively she was asking about EPC certificates and whether they ought to choose a C rating over an E!

Ds is getting behind at school in the subject he started late, at the beginning of Oct. His teacher just rang as he has an assessment in Jan which counts. It’s so frustrating, he’s perfectly capable but he’s been talking about giving up and doing an apprenticeship. I thought I’d convinced him to stick it out and get a higher/degree apprenticeship at 18, but he’s not studious and I think he just can’t face catching up. Hopefully his teachers will help…

I was talking to dd (she is just turned 21) about the huge number of young people who appear to be struggling at university.

She blames it all on lockdown and says that our cohort (and even some of hers) are developmentally behind. They lost most of that transition at the age of 16 from being at school to becoming adults and having more freedom/trying things out. They were kept away from friends, put in bubbles and not allowed to socialise properly. Bars and social spaces were closed. It is like they suddenly jumped from that to being 18 and on the way to uni/living independently. Their mental health is very poor as a cohort.

My dh is seeing it too with his students.

One of my neighbours is a lecturer at the local 6th form college. She said to me a couple of years ago when our lot were in year 12 that she had never known such high levels of anxiety, loss of self-confidence etc in a year group. So it's not surprising really.

Ds text earlier to say all his lectures are cancelled for the rest of this week due to strikes. So he's bought a train ticket home for tomorrow. He's going via London this time after he avoided it last time. It'll be good to see him. I offered to pay for his train ticket, he said he's not a charity. I was happy to pay.

Comefromaway, I agree. Ds2, HoY last year , (year 8) said they were very very behind, (he'd been Ds1's HoY in year 9 I think). They can't seem to cope, generally, developmentally behind,can't sort out petty squabbles. School have put more in place to try and address it last year, but it hadn't been that affective.

DS is home for 24 hours. He's happy to be here, had a home cooked tea with us and gone off to his sports club now. He's seeing a friend tomorrow and then we're going for a family dinner before taking him to the station for a late train.

I obviously wouldn't but I could thump DH. He spent most of the hour in the same room saying 'yes but why are you here?', 'but you're coming home in two weeks anyway' and 'no-one only comes home for one night'. I have said to him he isn't coming across as very welcoming but he seems to think I'm mistaken.

@Comefromaway and @Oblomov22, absolutely. It's really hitting the year-groups who have missed important transition (eg GCSEs -> A-levels, or primary -> secondary) due to lockdown. I teach in a secondary school and our current Year 9s find it very hard to deal with social skills. (Y8s to a lesser extent.)

DS says he has found a nice house - but it's over 7k a year!!

At the moment we ay his accommodation and it's less than 6.
Is it normal for student lets to be 52 weeks? I feel like Lincoln experiences have mollycoddled us.

I think it's pretty standard for rents to be a full year. DD and friends are taking uni advice and waiting until the New Year to house-hunt, but it's very likely to be substantially more than her cheap uni room at the moment.

Ds’s halls are £7.5k per year but that includes bills of course.

it just means he has less money to spend on other stuff.

and yes unfortunately, 52 weeks is normal.

We never fell into the trap of saying we’d pay rent. We top up his minimum loan to full loan and he deals with everything.

@icanbewhatiwant Quick thinking from him there. It is lovely to see them in person & grab a hug.

@Piggywaspushed It sounds as if Lincoln was a dream!

@Comefromaway "We never fell into the trap of saying we’d pay rent. We top up his minimum loan to full loan and he deals with everything."

DS rent for 52 weeks next year is higher than the full loan. They took the cheapest flat on the letting agent's books. I'm still in shock.

Lincoln rentals are all bills included. Far cheaper all round and run mid/end August usually until July.

We pay rent come because it's always worked out so that rent +loan = full loan amount, give or take...

I’ve got DDs contract to sign as guarantor so all this discussion is timely for me. Hers is 52 weeks, £360 a month with bills excluded. All feels a bit like a leap into the unknown but she seems all ok with it. According to WIWIKAU I should be phoning the agent and asking for changes to the contract, getting legal advice and getting guarantor insurance…

I can't keep up. Have spent last two weeks winding down from work (which actually meant me working until 3am at least two mornings AFTER I'd finished, manually adding stuff to folders as my drives weren't syncing) . I then had my birthday and went to a rented cottage in Wales where I promptly got FreshersFlu. It was lovely (but wasteful) to hole up in a big fluffy bed in a countryside cottage with underfloor heating.

I've started my new job in a new Uni. Big hint it is one some of us have done courses through, we were talking about as part of the October reset, but not a typical institution that goes on the UCAS list.

How are things @seeline ?

To be fair if it’s a joint and several contract I would consider guarantor insurance. I very nearly had to claim for Dd last year when her house share went tits up (police were involved)

DS rent for 52 weeks next year is higher than the full loan. They took the cheapest flat on the letting agent's books. I'm still in shock.

wow. Remind me where is that. I know several young people who would either have to work more hours than advised or simply leave if that were the case as their families just can’t afford to subsidise them.

Talking of guarantors. Is everyone finding they need a certain level of income or are places fine about it. As Ds is staying private halls they don’t delve into finances but I had to send off payslips for DD’s houseshare.

Im thinking in the future of a young person whose family probably wouldn’t pass credit checks.

@Comefromaway Durham. DS worked a bit this summer but knows next year will have to be different. We had no idea when he chose to study there. He's spoken with some current third years and says the rents have shot up in the last year. Demand exceeds supply and the landlords are milking it. Durham was one of the universities who was paying successful applicants to stay away two years ago.