Thread 43 - GCSE Covid Cohort ..November 22 Remember Remember

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

Previous Thread

I see, fairly common then. Very short Easter break-10/11 days. DD1 was home for a month at Easter and Christmas. They finish for summer at the start of June, 3 weeks earlier than currently but approx 4/5 extra weeks . I wonder how that affects contact hrs . How does it work if your DC are currently in this system?

ARU has three trimesters in theory, but the third one is only for January intake international students while everyone else is having their summer holiday! So it's effectively semesters, but I got thoroughly confused when I was reading about that.

Good luck to @ZittiEBuoni. My DD had huge anxiety issues and spent a large chunk of Y13 at home, until medication was sorted out.

It’s a good job she has the opportunity to earn and save this year as there’s little time for holiday jobs.

St Andrews has semesters which mean they get no Easter holiday, just a spring break, but their summer is very long. This year DS has 3/9 to 16/12 with a1 week break and 16/1/23 to 8/5/23 with a 1 week break 27/2-3/3. Teaching finishes 3 weeks before the end of each term, so they can come back earlier once exams are over and have nearly 4.5 months off in the summer. I think they might be doing it so that they can make more money as a venue over the summer.

I wouldn't' be surprised if that's in part why York is doing it too since its a summer conference centre.

When I was there it was the very traditional Oxbridge style 9 week terms! Their aim was to copy what was good at Oxbridge then and I think semesters are more of a sign of the Americanisation of our uni systems.

They’re saying it is to standardise module timings so that timetables work better and enabling wider module choice. But money usually factors in somewhere.

Leicester had semesters when I was there in the 90s! It’s mainly a way of breaking up the year so that you can have 3 modules per semester and assessment at the end. I think the first term was always 12 weeks with two/three weeks of assessments in Jan, then it was another 12 weeks but with Easter in the middle.

Longer summers are good for students in terms of earning money too.

Probably works better for housing too. DS has two semesters, they go back on 9th Jan, change semester one weekend in late Jan, then he has a reading week followed by two weeks holiday for Easter.

UCLan has three semesters … it’s only reading @PhotoDad’s post above that’s made me realise they’re strictly trimesters … less pedantically, interesting to read about #3 being for international students as that was my guess with UCLan too. DD should have access to the actual term dates that they don’t see fit to put on the website but is denying all knowledge.

So they have an early September start, really long autumn term (with a reading/reflection week); three weeks at Xmas; return in January for a single week of Semester 1; straight into Semester 2; a mere two weeks at Easter; finish mid-May.

I do wonder if exams are after the end of Semester 2 - if not it’s going to be more than four months off in the summer.

@DontCallMeBaby That's pretty much the same as ARU! As "semester" means "six months" my mind aches a bit at having three of them in a year. 😱

Interesting to know the etymology! The 3rd semester might also be relevant for people doing accelerated degrees - have a friend doing a 3 year course in 2 years at Falmouth.

I think it probably suits academics to have a long summer when they can focus on their research without pesky students in the way!

I knew nothing about the semester part, so thanks.

Attached wiwikau list for year 2 accommodation. Seems sensible.

Just catching up and it seems everyone's dc is doing well which is good. DS struggling a bit hence why I haven't been posting.

@Shimy Can we help in any way, or have you got it in hand?

I'm just at the end of me tether to be honest. Can't advice any further. He can't seem to organise himself (has adhd) but thought he had developed those skills.

He can't make a decision about anything. He cannot sort out his med's with the uni GP and he is about to run out. He cannot decide which societies to join as he keeps hopping around different societies and is sad that he is not a part of anything..surprise..surprise!! he cannot find a job..they are all filled. Cannot join the gym as he will not entertain that he can join but he has made some of his health issues bigger than they ought to be but he desperately wants to join and it's making him sad. He has rushed to join some friends to find a place to live next yr despite all my advice not to panic and not to commit to anything without understanding the detail. DH is also part of the problem as he has paid the deposit for him but when I asked how much is the rent? he couldn't answer, does the rent include bills? he didn't know it goes on. It's giving me a headache just thinking about it.

Bless you. Sounds painful, just the mental load. How receptive is he, when you talk to him. Would he get overwhelmed if you listed them all, but cope if you told him which 3 to prioritise first? To me the meds sort with GP would be number 1)? Would he be more receptive if it comes from Dh?

@Shimy that sounds hard. No real advice I'm afraid, but be assured several of us are not having an easy ride. It helps, just knowing that we're not alone.

@Oblomov22 Yes, he does get overwhelmes when I list everything as it sounds like I'm listing all his faults. Thing is he already knows them but he doesn't like to admit he is way in over his head with the organisation and needs help. He does listen to his dad a lot. But he exhausting trying to explain to dh and we end up having an argument. We both are very cautious because of his MH history so dh is happy to leave him be and thinks its a good thing he's taken the initiative to house house & has found friends, which of course I agree with but its the detail they are both not paying attention to which I know once it all goes bottoms up will land in my lap.

We discussed the meds 2 weeks ago and he said he will book an appointment on Monday, spoke to him yesterday and he just sounded fed up when I asked and said, 'No I haven't'.

@Seeline Sorry to hear you're having a rough ride too. It's so difficult balancing them being 'independent' and steering them in the right direction.

@Shimy that sounds difficult. Could you pop up to see him and take him out or take treats to set the mood for making a list. I would kick the job into the long grass as that is less important than health. Maybe you could sit with him whilst he books GP and offer to pay for the gym sub so you are sounding supporting rather than bossy?

As people have advised all the struggling students, the issue is how to break it down and produce a manageable plan of action.

Is the course OK?

Presumably his dad has signed as guarantor for the accom, so it would be his problem, not yours!

I agree. If he has adhd there is a reason for his difficulty so I’d just do it with him. Hopefully with these obstacles dealt with, he can move forward.

@Monkey2001 I was going to go up and visit but then he mentioned term ends soon and he'll be back home around the 9th, so I decided it might be better to wait for him to come home. Everytime I speak to him he has to go quickly because he has, 'So much work!'. I know he's also partying which in itself is fine. He spent so much time studying for his A'Levels I'm glad he's letting his hair down a bit but he just doesn't know how to juggle everything.
I think if I sat with to book with the GP, that's exactly what he would say, 'Mum pls stop being bossy'.

He is not happy with the number of lectures online apparently and has written to the department and complained, the ones that aren't online seem to be boring. I just hope they don't mark him out as troublesome?

I think when he comes home for Christmas, we will be able to have a much more relaxed conversation about everything. DS has never liked a direct approach rather he will wait until bedtime when he's in bed and then start chirping on about all the woes and problems in his life.

I'm not so worried about the medication as I have an emergency supply (that he doesn't know about) but that's not the point, he needs to get things in motion himself and at this rate, he won't have an emergency supply if he carries on the way he is.

I really appreciate all the kind helpful advice. I haven't read the full thread as it moved on in swathes of pages b ut hold on in there those who are struggling and those who aren't, BRAVO!

You know him best @Shimy .

@Benjispruce4 Pls don't think i haven't taken onboard the advice, I definitely am, I'm just not sure going up there will be received that well. I'm still in two minds about it. Funnily enough, I went to visit DS1(extremely introverted) this week it was lovely seeing how he is beginning to socialise (he hardly went out in Yr 1 and the rest was blighted by COVID). He's joined the baking society and really enjoying their cake sorry, meet-ups . He is also sorting out his thesis idea and got some job interviews coming up which has really boosted his confidence.

@Shimy of course, no worries at all. It’s so hard to know when they just want to sound off and then get in with things and when they are actually making a cry for help. Most of the time I think it’s the former. We are their emotional sponges ready to soak up their woes.
Great that DS1 is flourishing.

DS has this at Birmingham (and at his US year abroad uni). I think he likes two semesters - Sept-Christmas, a good monthlong break or more at Christmas, then mid-end Jan to end May/early June with a short break for Easter. It means they have lots and better opportunities for internships and summer jobs plus travel, and is less “bitty” in terms of options etc.