My daughter (who is almost 30) reposts things daily on social media about overcoming a terrible childhood, having no one who really listens to her (her partner is wonderful and very kind, so I suspect he listens to her just fine), how hurtful it is that the people who should love her most don’t, being raised by toxic parents etc!
And I find it hurtful and embarrassing. Her dad and I separated and divorced when she was 8, and I had custody though she and her sibling (who has zero complaints about me as a mum) would stay with him about 3 nights a month (when he didn’t cancel). He was emotionally abusive, just a total nightmare, but I was always reliable, kind, supportive, etc. It was very hard as I had very little money and his support payments weren’t reliable. He criticized me a lot to the kids after the divorce. He’s now dead and she also posts about how much she misses him, which I don’t say anything about, but find a bit hurtful as he was so abusive to me.
Im not sure what, if anything, my response should be? She may be referring to her dad, or her idea that we argued (my recollection was that he argued at me, I was so beaten down I feel that I rarely argued back, but I’m sure I must have on occasion). She has, seemingly, zero comprehension of how much I carried as an abused woman. I do feel very badly for her and her sibling that their childhood was affected like that, but even one post about having had a kind and loving mum would help. Our whole family can see her posts and some of my friends as well and it’s embarrassing and I feel it gives a very untrue idea of how stable and loving her home was after he moved out. And it hurts my feelings.
Anyone else have this?
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Adult daughter being passive aggressive?
Ritascornershop · 23/10/2022 17:09
Ritascornershop · 23/10/2022 18:41
@Blahburst I’m mentioning her sibling here (not to her) to show that the consensus that they had a terrible childhood is not unanimous. It’s her perception, on some days, which is a shame, but it’s more her airing it to everyone that I find hurtful. My parents weren’t perfect, but they loved me, she knows I love her, and it would not have dawned on me to tell everyone I had a terrible childhood (it was middling).
saraclara · 23/10/2022 19:29
Does her sister ever respond to these posts? Either online or privately? Because I think she's the one that needs to talk to her and say "what on earth is this bollocks that you're putting online, because I was there and none of this happened"
Quitelikeit · 23/10/2022 18:45
How about a nice message
’hey Rita I saw your post on FB about toxic parenting, is this about something what happened to you? Can we talk about it, mum X
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