Dd gone to uni, feeling of sadness

[Lovemusic33]

Dropped dd1 off at uni yesterday, she’s never been away from home. I am a single parent, both DD’s are autistic but dd2 severely autistic. Dd1 seems excited and wasn’t upset when I left. I am worried sick about her, she has some mobility issues, dyspraxia and Autsim, she’s never even washed her own hair or cooked a proper meal, I have to remind her to brush her teeth and change her underwear, I’m not sure how she will survive uni 😢. I am missing her so much but so far she’s fine (still excited), I feel selfish for crying and wanting her back, I want to drive to pick her up and keep her at home but I know I can’t do that unless she wants me too.

Please tell me it gets easier? I want to be happy for her but it’s hard when I’m so worried about her. She spent last night in her room whilst others were drinking, she doesn’t drink. She’s hoping to meet some friend from her course today when they move in, she has spoken to them online but I’m worried she won’t be excepted, she’s very young and all the other students look so grown up.

Hi, you are not selfish at all, you are having a normal loving mother's reaction! This was me 2 years ago but yes it does get better. Hang on to the fact that she is so far fine. They really do learn quickly when they have to. My DD does not drink either, which is a relief in my opinion, they can keep themselves safer. Look after yourself, it's a tough time when they first leave home. Hope you are able to visit her soon.

My dd is NT and has been at uni for a week now. It will get easier 💐 but lots of sympathy with finding it hard and counting down the days until the end of term.

@PeekAtYou can I ask what NT is please? Forgive my ignorance.

Thank you, I managed a day without crying yesterday though almost cried when dd messaged saying she had been making friends and had returned early from an event as it wasn’t for her, I am so proud of her and how she remains herself and isn’t tempted to follow others, if she doesn’t want to drink she won’t be persuaded and if she doesn’t want to go out she won’t. She seems happy despite spending a lot of time in her room gaming but the fact she’s eating has to be a good sign? She’s happy to go to the kitchen and make food and has bumped into a few of her flat mates, it seems only a couple of them are sociable, she spoke to 2 yesterday and arranged to go to a talk with them at lunch time. Today she’s going to a LGBT group. Uni staff have been great and have put her together with some others who have autism and similar interests to her. I am still getting used to waking up and her not being here but it is getting easier.

NT - Neurotypical
ND - Neurodiverse

Thank you for explaining the acronyms. OP, glad you feel a bit better. It's early days and she seems to be doing very well.It's a big change for anyone.