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son doesn’t like new home
7

Darren67 · 18/08/2022 20:00

25 year old son left home a few months ago, bought an house with our help. He wanted to live on his own, literally 2 mins away. He hates it, hates living on his own, no motivation to do anything to house! Doesn’t manage money well, at pub for company, seems depressed and frequently tells me he hates it. I want to cry for him, feel awful , I know we have no reason to , we have helped financially and physically doing lots of decorating etc in the house. I just want him to feel better about the opportunity to be on the property ladder, better about life , making and taking opportunities etc, he seems so sad. For context DH who’s DS dad says to ignore and he plays it up for me, want a magic wand

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Chickadeeandchic · 18/08/2022 20:04

Could he get a mate to live with as a flatmate? When he's at the pub is this with colleagues or pals, or just sitting down the pub for something to do? It sounds like he is lonely.

If he's really hating it, could he live back at home and rent it out for a period of time while he sorts out whatever it is he's unhappy about (job/friends/ his MH etc). At 25 this isn't your issue to fix though, just support him.

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CrotchetyQuaver · 18/08/2022 20:46

He needs to grow up sometime, if he doesn't like his house what is his proposed solution?
I don't think I'd be letting him come back home, would he ever leave again? he needs to learn to "adult"

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CrotchetyQuaver · 18/08/2022 20:47

He needs a house mate or 2 depending on how many bedrooms he has

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pjani · 18/08/2022 20:50

Is there a part of him who might have been doing something he could tell you wanted for him? He sounds potentially quite ‘entangled’ or dependent on you, is it possible this wasn’t his dream?

I think the idea of a house mate is a good one but ultimately, I think you need to respect his feelings about this but the answers need to come from him, it’s his life and it sounds like it would really help if he could own his own power to change his life.

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eurochick · 18/08/2022 21:06

He should get a lodger. That's what lots of my friends did at that age if they were lucky enough to buy.

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katepilar · 31/08/2022 21:15

Living on your own can be depressing. Perhaps some counselling /therapy would help him find how to make himself happier.

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Darren67 · 04/09/2022 20:01

Thank you all he’s got a lodger who’s a friend so hopefully this will help x

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